Jul 03 2009

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Writer Chick

Pen - Theme Friday

pen-bw

The pen presses to paper
which gobbles the ink
the travel is endless
the sights, divine
Reality doesn’t matter
borders have no meaning
Time plays no part
Identities slip on and off
like a bevy of party dresses
that flutter in a flurry of indecision

The pen is freedom
a voice of descent
That can pass through walls
small minds
the hulls of ships
the bars of prisons
the airwaves
virtual universes
prejudice and bias
skin color and class
wealth and poverty
Through gaping maws
and the eye of a needle.

Its cargo, ideas
opinions
imaginings
dreams
new points
from which to view
A flame
eternal and
hope everlasting

themefrilogo

Jess’s pen writes magical things here and

Christine’s pen is creating universes here

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Jul 02 2009

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Delerious

Filed under Humor, Life, adventure, brain farts

castleintheair

Okay gang, so the sleep deprivation has finally caught up with me and the adrenaline has run out - so if you see something dragging, don’t step on it cuz  it’s my ass. (sorry old joke)

I am in fact, home, once again. It feels great and my pets are happy too. In fact, in less than 24 hours things have already begun to turn around. The problem though is that I am starting to hallucinate a little. Do you know how scary it is when imaginary people walk into the room? Don’t try this while you’re driving either. Yikes.

I was so exhausted and so happy to be home yesterday once I dragged all my stuff (and for a person who has nothing, I sure have a lot of shit) over that I couldn’t sleep last night - so…the adventures continue.

I hope that by the time you read this, I’ll have gotten some sleep and can find my way around the blog neighborhood. Thanks for your understanding not just for this but for the whole fiasco that has been the last several months.

Hugs and Kisses

Annie

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Jul 01 2009

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Weird Chick 4

ugliest-boxer

It’s Weird Wednesday once again and Michael and I have once again, scanned the internet for the latest and weridest stuff available. First up is our pick for Weird News - the winner of the ugliest dog contest - pictured above. Click on the pic for the full story.

Weird Art:

strange-art

Wow, talk about being a prisoner of your own mind!

Weird Food:

cobra_whiskey_tallCommon Cobra & Vine Snake Wine

This special whiskey is infused with a real farm raised Cobra snake, Vine Snake, ginseng roots and herbal seed pods. The whiskey is steeped for several months, which then imparts a unique flavour into the whiskey, it is quite an acquired taste. The story is that this is used in SE Asia as a very strong Aphrodisiac; and it also has many medical uses, such as the treatment of back and muscle pain. Every bottle is unique in its own way so therefore the item purchased may differ slightly in looks but not size.

giantbug_pasteGiant Bug Chilli Paste - Extra Hot!

If you’re looking for that unique extra hot dipping paste then this is the one for you. It is made from Crushed Giant Waterbug a.k.a.Water Scorpion (Thai name : Malaengda, used mainly for it’s special aroma), Shrimp paste, garlic, salt, Thai chilli powder and sugar and it makes an excellent dipping paste for edible insects, sticky rice, vegetables, tortilla chips or anything else that takes your fancy. Be warned this paste is pretty hot!

For more fascinating food items, click on the cobra wine to visit this unique website.

And finally …

Weird Vid:

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Jun 30 2009

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Getting What You Want

assbackwards

I think most of us can agree that the universe is screwier than Obama’s birth certificate. We’re just going along minding our own business, slogging through life as best we can, keeping our heads down and our fingers crossed – but still the universe will find some way of tripping us up. Right?

You wake up, have a great cup of coffee, the sun is shining, you have a fresh pack of smokes and traffic is light. Great. But then you get to work and discover that there is a power outtage and you failed to print out that report that was due today on Friday before you left for the weekend? Or the parking lot is under construction so you have to park on the street three blocks from the office and run back and forth all day to feed the meter? Or your co-worker just got laid off and you have double the workload with no increase in pay and you are likely going to be putting in extra hours at work just to keep up. Sound familar?

After a while too, we start to train ourselves to expect this sort of thing. The classic Murphy’s Law applies here: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” My father had his own version “Hope for the best but expect the worst” I’m sure there are hundreds of variations of this view and all of them came out of the need to be prepared for disaster when and if it strikes. To expect problems and have a backup solution handy just makes sense. Right? Maybe not.

I’ve thought about this lately – in my case I’ve been traveling the universe for months looking for a home. A place where I can truly unpack my belongings and stay there a while. This goal has eluded me and has been a game of cat and mouse and frankly it’s really sucked. I definitely felt a victim of the universe. Nightly I would implore God, “What do I have to do to find a home?” or something like that. Never feeling I got an answer.

But then I started to wonder if I was making it happen somehow. I was creating all of this temporary living stuff without meaning to. No, I’m not talking about the Secret, where my mind was putting out some weird negative thought and because I was all wrapped up in it I got it. I’m talking about something else. I’m talking about the fact that this freeking universe is bass-ackwards. I’m talking about a trick you need to know in order to somehow survive this obstacle course of life. I’m talking about the fact that the uinverse is rigged. Yup. Rigged.

Whoever created this circus ride called life thought it would be tre’s funny to just make everything go in opposites. Like, if you want something then that means you’ll never get it. The more you pray, desire, crave, covet, etc. the further away it gets from you. Like a magnet in reverse – it just won’t stick. Conversely whatever you don’t want you can get in spades. You dont’ want to be stuck in traffic, so you leave early and voila, there is an accident that sticks you in traffic for 3 hours. You don’t want the object of your affection to leave you and boom, he decides he wants to see other people. You don’t want to gain weight so you stop eating, your metabolism slows and now no matter what you eat, you gain weight. Stuff like that, yes?

So, what’s the solution? To try to trick the universe by pretending you don’t want what you want? Or by pretending you do want the things you don’t want? Wow, that seems complicated, doesn’t it? And what a lot of mental exhaustion you could incur that way. No…I don’t think that would work - at least not with any consistent results. I think the answer is indifference. Let me explain.

Have you ever noticed that when you really don’t care – how things turn out that things turn out pretty good? It’s not that you’re in apathy and don’t want things to turn out well, it’s more that you’re  kind of above it – you’ve decided what you want, how you’re going to get it, the actions you need to take to bring it about and then you just go about your business. You don’t spend two hours a day visualizing it. You don’t amass magazines, construction paper and glue to create ‘story boards’ of it. You just say, “I want this to happen” and then you forget about it. Send it out there and just go about your business. Next thing you know it happens or you get it and you’re even a little suprised by the fact that you didn’t have to ‘work’ it.

I think when things do happen this way it’s because it does trick the universe. You aren’t out there sending it messages of what you must have, must get, must accomplish – in fact, you’re sending it no messages at all. So it has no choice but to give you things. It can’t help itself. It has to give things and you won’t play its game, so you win.

Don’t know if I’m right or wrong but I do think I’m onto something here because this almost always turns out to be true for me, anyway. Why not try it? Just say, ‘oh I want this, and this and this’ and then forget about it. Go about your business. Then be surprised when it happens. Because there is nothing better than nice surprises, huh?

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Jun 29 2009

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Signs Your Landlady Wants You to Move

moving

Since I’ve moved seven times in the last 9 months I fancy myself an expert on the ‘signs’ that tell you that you’re moving again. As a public service, I offer the following indicators that your landlady wants you to move:

1. She stops stocking toilet paper in the communal bathroom, which you generally discover at 3 in the morning.
2. You can no longer enter the house from the front door because your ‘new room mate’s’ drums are blocking the entrance.
3. When you return to your room after having been gone, the lights are on and your cat is missing. (Everyone denies any knowledge)
4. You come home to find that the door to your room is blocked by someone else’s moving boxes
5. Your room mates have the uncanny ability to multiply overnight.
6. The microwave now requires a code to operate, which you do not have
7. She ‘forgot’ to mention that band practice is every Tuesday night until 4 a.m.
8. Complete strangers are piling their belongings in the driveway
9. Random belongings of yours mysteriously keep ending up in the trash.
10. A no parking sign has been posted at your usual parking spot overnight.
11. Your room mates pretend they have never met you when you run into them in the hall.
12. Someone has painted a bullseye on the back of your car – and apparently has been doing target practice.
13. Your canned tuna has been ‘donated’ to the neighborhood stray cats
14. The food you had in the fridge has been tossed to make room for two cases of beer for a party to which you’ve not been invited.

While there may be other signs, these are a surefire indication it’s time to get outta there – and fast.

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Jun 28 2009

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Sunday Toons

Hope you’re having a great weekend. Have some laughs…

bamadollar

food

obama-new-jobs

Operation how to downsize medicare

stimuli

stimulus-check-plus-interest

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Jun 26 2009

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Beach House - Theme Friday

beach-house

The beach house was Tanya’s dream and her escape. Whenever life got to be too much Tanya traveled there in her mind and sat in the sun, digging her feet into the warm sand. She reveled in the heat that soaked into her bones and made her glow with serenity.

But then a gunshot sounded and fear returned again. Sometimes Tanya sat on the floor, so she could duck in a hurry if she had to. Sometimes she had to. “When I grow up, I’m gonna to live at the beach. I’m gonna to live where it’s always summer,” she told herself and anyone who would listen.

“Oh hush, child,” her mama would say. “Ain’t no way you can afford to live at the beach.”

Tanya was not daunted by her mama’s doubts but rather emboldened by them. “Am too!” She stamped her little foot and crossed her arms tightly across her bony chest. “I’m gonna get a job and get lots of money and buy me a beach house.” Tanya pulled out one of her hundreds of drawings of the beach house that dwelled in her mind and waved it at her mama. “See here? This is my house.”

But her mama was too busy making dinner and worrying about grown up things. Too busy making that crease in her forehead deeper than it was the day before. Too busy sewing on buttons and patches to clothes that should have been sent to the ragbag long ago. Too busy to duck when the shot sounded.

Tanya waited a long minute before she stuck her head out to see if it was safe. “Mama?” But the house was too quiet for voices to intrude. “Mama?” Tanya’s own voice scared her a little and she felt a tremble start up her foot then race to her chest. She still held the crayon drawing in her hand and the fist she made destroyed it without Tanya’s notice. “Mama?”

A ragged sigh cut through the air like a scissors through construction paper and Tanya saw her mama then. On the floor. Her chest barely raised as she struggled to take in breath. “Ttttanyaaaa…” was all that came out. The blood that oozed was like a cardinal halo that circled her mama’s head and fanned out in surprising and beautiful patterns.

Tanya went to her mama and sat down on the floor beside her. She smoothed out the drawing that had crumpled in her clenched fist and showed it to her mama. “See here, this is the beach house. Our beach house. We live here, Mama. And the sun always shines and keeps you warm and safe. You go there now and rest, Mama. I made it for you. I made it for you so you could always be warm.”

Mama reached for the drawing and pulled it to her chest. She nodded to Tanya and smiled but tears were running down her face like rain on a window glass.

“Ssshhh,” Tanya whispered to her mama, ‘you sleep now. Can you hear the waves telling you to sleep?” Tanya pulled a blanket from the old brown couch and dragged it over to her mama and covered her with it. “Sssshhh,” she cooed.

Then a shot sounded and Tanya didn’t duck. Instead she slept too with her mama and together they went to their beach house and reveled in the eternal summer.

themefrilogo Go visit Christine’s beach house and don’t forget to see Jess’s beach house too.

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Jun 25 2009

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Michael Jackson - Farewell

michael_jackson_1971_got_to_be_there

While I’ll admit to not being much of a Michael Jackson fan in recent years, I do have to say that he has left behind him and enormous body of work. The young boy with the amazing voice who I believe started singing professionally at the age of eight had a certain something. Charisma? Charm? Talent? A special light? I don’t know but it did reach people.

Off the top of my head I can think of many of his songs that I loved. Billie Jean, Thriller, Beat It, I’ll Be There… His music has definitely been part of my life soundtrack and will remain so.

Though later in his life he resorted to what can only be considered extremely weird behavior, not the least of which was the endless plastic surgeries designed to make him look more and more like a mannequin - as well as other activities that we aren’t going to discuss here - the fact is, the man brought music to the world. And that music touched millions world wide.

Farewell Michael Jackson - may you sing now with the angels.

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Jun 24 2009

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Weird Chick 3

weird-alice

Weird Wednesday has rolled around once again and Michael and I have scavenged the internet to bring the best and the brightest of the weirdest. And if you click on the pic above, you’ll get shot over to a nice little article about Tim Burton’s soon to be released version of Alice in Wonderland. And yeah, that is Johnny Depp is his own colorful delicious weirdness.

In the News…

This poor guy got a little high and tried to do the javelyn moose jump over a couple of Japanese cars. In part, the article states:

weird-moose

Witnesses appear uncertain as to whether the moose was tranquilized before or after it fell on to both cars, causing $3,000 in damages. Car owners Chris Hair and Cassi Elton were told by Utah Division of Risk Management they would receive no compensation for the damage, as there was no negligence on the part of animal control officers.

Click on the moose to get the full scoop.

Whacky vid #1 from a classic source:

Whacky vid #2 that also incorporates our nominee for weird food of the week - this is a can’t miss, folks.

Weird Art - is it Live or Memorex?

girl-as-art

And finally…

Weird Products which I believe speak for themselves

you-can-shave-the-baby

What child doesn’t want their own babydoll to shave? Seriously?

blowguard

And what pretty girl doesn’t want to preserve her pearly whites by using Blow Guard - yes folks, that really is the name and shit, I just had to post this if only for Evyl.

And so ends another weird Wednesday - we hope you had fun and may you stay forever weird.

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Jun 23 2009

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Bama in a Box

bamainthebox

“If we can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people, under the pretense of taking care of them, they must become happy.” –Thomas Jefferson

It seems that our new president’s efforts to socialize the country and make us the loyal followers of same may have begun to turn the tide. While on the campaign trail, he promised transparency, no increase in taxes, free healthcare, a cleaner environment and apparently a chicken in every pot.

Well, it looks like not only is the public not buying it and perhaps having a bit of buyer’s remorse - even the rank and file are starting to bristle. Five months into his term and two dozen bills signed and hope and change ain’t sounding quite so appetising anymore.

Although, what did we expect from a man who was completely unqualified to do the job? Miracles? I have a feeling the Potomac isn’t going to be parting any time soon.

Hell, even Bill Mahr thinks Obama should be a little more like Bush.

bush-ranch

And a little less like him:

bama-curtains

“We have the greatest opportunity the world has ever seen, as long as we remain honest — which will be as long as we can keep the attention of our people alive. If they once become inattentive to public affairs, you and I, and Congress and Assemblies, judges and governors would all become wolves.” — Thomas Jefferson

Perhaps ol’ Thom Jefferson was onto something? Could be.

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