This is Torture?
Posted on September 30, 2006 - Filed Under Current Events, Terrorism, double yoiks, little rants, my opinions, philosophy & politics, satire
You’ll be delighted to know that terrorists residing at Gitmo are resting easy - a full uninterupted 8 hours per night. Now, I can’t tell you the last time I had 8 uninterupted hours of sleep - maybe I should get me an orange jumpsuit.
They are eating like little piggies too - all kosher Islamic food, which our troops are also forced to eat because care and comfort of the enemy does come first after all. Oh and when they are extra special good and don’t throw feces or other lovely bodily waste at the guards they get homebaked cookies and sometimes even Subway or MacDonald’s fish samiches. Talk about room service! Jeez! And most of these dudes have gained 20 lbs while in detainment. I have heard rumors that Bali is currently negotiating with the U.S. government to put in a spa and a team of personal trainers - I mean, we wouldn’t want these bad boys to become flabby would we? However would they survive once they are back on the battlefield - it could definitely cut their running time.
Boy, what ever happened to the good old days when rough and tumble terrorists could get by on a couple hours shut-eye, and whatever roots they could scrounge in their caves?
They happily pray five times daily on prayer rugs paid for by you and me. And of course, they also have qurans, which we infidels are not allowed to touch, also provided by the American taxpayer. Nice, eh? And of course, since they must pray 5 times a day on their government issue rugs whilst reading from their government issue qurans, they most definitely cannot be interrogated during any time period that might cut into their chats with their god. Heaven forbid! Amnesty International would come down on us like a ton of bricks. As it is, they are already writing us up for the transfats in the filetofish samiches - although, maybe if the deal with Bali comes through soon enough, we’ll get off with a warning and no fine.
How do I know these things you ask? I happened to read Deadly Kindness written by Richard Miniter a bestselling author and fellow at the Hudson Institute. He says:
ON the military plane back from America’s most famous terrorist holding pen, the in-flight film was “V for Vendetta,” a screed that tries to justify terrorism. It was a fitting end to a surreal, military-sponsored trip.
The Pentagon seemed to be hoping to disarm its critics by showing them how well it cares for captured terrorists. The trip was more alarming than disarming. I spent several hours with Rear Adm. Harry B. Harris Jr., who heads the joint task force that houses and interrogates the detainees. (The military isn’t allowed to call them “prisoners.”)Harris, a distinguished Navy veteran who was born in Japan and educated at Annapolis and Harvard, is a serious man trying to do a politically impossible job. I spoke with him at length, and with a dozen other officers and guards, and visited three different detention blocks.
The high-minded critics who complain about torture are wrong. We are far too soft on these guys - and, as a result, aren’t getting the valuable intelligence we need to save American lives. The politically correct regulations are unbelievable. Detainees are entitled to a full eight hours sleep and can’t be woken up for interrogations. They enjoy three meals and five prayers per day, without interruption. They are entitled to a minimum of two hours of outdoor recreation per day.Interrogations are limited to four hours, usually running two - and (of course) are interrupted for prayers.
One interrogator actually bakes cookies for detainees, while another serves them Subway or McDonald’s sandwiches. Both are available on base. (Filet o’ Fish is an al Qaeda favorite.)(read the rest here)
After reading this article I was utterly infuriated especially in light of the pc crowd’s cries of inhumane treatment of these men bent on our destruction. You want to see inhumane treatment of prisoners? How about this:
or perhaps this
or this…..
Yes folks, this is what the enemy does to our men and women who fight for our freedom every day. This is the guideline used in the treatment of American prisoners. Kind of makes you think that water boarding ain’t all that bad, doesn’t it?
I sure as hell know these prisoners didn’t gain any weight while imprisoned. They did not have 1,000 pro bono attorneys respresenting their ‘rights.’ They did not get copies of bibles or the torah, or rosary beads or prayer time. In fact, the ones who survived were lucky to get out with their lives.
So the next time you hear somebody boo-hooing about how we ugly Americans treat our detainees or griping about a couple of loose cannons who dared to put underpants on some dude’s head - tell them to shut the fuck up! (and to take advantage of that free, introductory martial arts class - as they may need it sooner than they think)
WC
Java
Posted on September 29, 2006 - Filed Under Coffee, Humor, Just For Fun, Life, Random Thoughts
Oh how I love coffee. I love it hot, I love it iced, I love full-caf, half-caf, de-caf, with cinnamon, with whipped creme, with heavy cream. With toast, or coffee cake, or bacon and eggs. With friends, alone at the computer, reading a paper, staring into space, driving my car. I can’t imagine life without it.
Which is pretty funny because the first time I tasted coffee, I thought it came from the bowels of hell. My mouth was so assaulted it tried to curl up on itself. ‘Yuk!’ said I. Mom laughed and told me it was good that I didn’t like it because then it would not become a habit. Little did she know…
Somewhere along the line, I made the connection between coffee and brain fog. Between having cobwebs in my head til noon and feeling alert first thing. Yep, coffee made me a believer in the idea that one could actually live through the morning without anyone getting hurt. And there are countless souls still walking the earth thanks to coffee. (little do they know, but let’s leave it on a needs to know basis.)
Not to mention the fact that coffee can keep you awake when you should be sleeping. When you absolutely, positively must stay awake to finish that post, read that chapter, watch the end of that movie, wait in vane for the guy who most certainly stood you up. Coffee is there for you. It does not judge, does not desert and does not care if you have a fat ass. It doesn’t care if you are popular or smart, funny or an idiot, it just is. It is quite simply the zen of beverages. It is the oneness of the allness. The yin and the yang. The ba-da-bing. The reason to get out of bed in the morning.
And apparently the reason it made those folks in Seattle filthy-fricking rich.
You can have your water, your gator aid, your centrifically-pressed fresh juice, your red bull, pink bull or got milk - but don’t you dare take my coffee from me.
I’m thinking maybe I ought to switch back to that half-caf - this enthusiasm is giving me a headache. 
WC
Young Love…
Posted on September 28, 2006 - Filed Under Humor, Just For Fun, Life, double yoiks
(Pitter-pat, you gotta love that first crush )
They say for every boy and girl,
There’s just one love in this old world,
And I, I kn-ow, I, I, I’ve found mine.
The heavenly touch of your embrace,
Tells me no one will take your place,
A, A, A, A, ever in my heart.
Chorus:
Young love, first love,
Filled with true devotion,
Young love, our love,
We share with deep emotion.
Just one kiss from your sweet lips,
Will tell me that your love is real,
And I, I, I can fe-el that it’s true.
We will vow to one another,
There will never be another,
Lo-ve for you, or for me.
Chorus:
Young love, first love,
Filled with true devotion,
Young love, our love,
We share with deep emotion.
(Sonny James)
Travel a Bitch?
Posted on September 26, 2006 - Filed Under Humor, Just For Fun, Life, yoiks
Just remember, the next time you’re standing on line trying to get through airport security that….
Travel light and pack that pooper scooper in your luggage (preferrably clean) to avoid hold ups.
WC
Random Thoughts…
Posted on September 25, 2006 - Filed Under Humor, Just For Fun, Life, Random Thoughts, adventure, little rants, my opinions, yoiks
My mind is a sieve today, so…here’s some dumb stuff floating around in my brain.
- Men have a lot of hair.
- Time only flies when you have something interesting to do.
- Why do I only want to wake up early on the weekends?
- Who figured out that you could actually eat an artichoke?
- If you call worms by a fancy name will they taste like chicken?
- Who invented toilet paper?
- Everything that tastes good makes you look bad.
- People who argue don’t want to win so much as they just want you to shut up.
- A rainy day makes me want to sleep.
- How did anyone ever live without movies?
- If a cockroach can survive a nuclear holocaust, why can’t I?
- How did anyone convince us that paying 2 bucks for a cup of coffee made sense?
- How come the French don’t eat French Fries?
- Who gave every telemarketer in America my phone number?
- What is it about Texans that make me like them so much?
- Living is dangerous to your health.
- Time in a bottle would be an awesome drink.
- People who run stops signs have a ridiculous amount of faith in their fellow man.
- Insurance only protects you when you don’t need it.
- Shopping carts are dangerous.
- When you’re happy the world will try to prove you wrong.
- There is not enough common sense to go around.
Feel free to add to the list.
WC
Road Rage
Posted on September 24, 2006 - Filed Under Humor, Just For Fun, Life, adventure, double yoiks, drama queen
(I’m afraid I can’t say that I haven’t looked a lot like this young lady, while navigating the Los Angeles highways)
An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman hit the roof–and the horn–screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger-printed, photographed and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘Choose Life’license plate holder, the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated, Christian fish emblem on the trunk. “Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.”
(HT: To court-reporting-chick, for this one. I just couldn’t not pass it along.)
WC
Yo Ho Mateys!
Posted on September 23, 2006 - Filed Under Current Events, Humor, Just For Fun, yoiks
Wednesday was international talk like a pirate day. I know it is a little late but everyone Heave to give a hearty Yarrr! For more info, check here
And for those needing a little help talking like a pirate, here’s a handy translator. Yarrrr.
You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. (aye, we have charts just like algor do!) For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.
Aye, have a nice day Aye, me mutt concurs.
HT to me matey, Zelda, for providing the fodder for this post. Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho….. WC
Honest Abe…
Posted on September 22, 2006 - Filed Under Deep thoughts, History, Inspirational Words, american idol, motivation, philosophy & politics
“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that is my religion.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Another American president who fought against the tide of disagreement. Some thought he was a hero, others thought him a traitor. I think he tried to do what he thought was best for his country. WC
Hugo’s Got a Brand New Bag
Posted on September 21, 2006 - Filed Under Current Events, Humor, Just For Fun, Life, double yoiks, drama queen, little rants, satire
Impotent dictator, despot and thug apparent,Hugo Chavez , announced at the UN yesterday that he is stepping down in order to act as Noarm Chompsky’s literary agent. Chavez hawked the volume (pictured above)for a good twenty minutes and read from several provocative passages.
The UN members in chamber during the speech, other impotent despots of backward countries, were quite receptive to the live infomercial and found Unkie Hugo witty and applause-worthy. Especially when he covered for letting go of a huge fart by blaming a previous speaker, whom he belived to have left the chamber. I guess he forgot it was being televised.
After the speech, he autographed pictures of he and gal-pal Fidel Castro, in an embrace. As well as pictures of he and his new gal-pal Imajihad – holding hands.
Immediately following the autographs, he attended a cocktail party hosted by Babs Streisand and her wife James Brolin. Roitor’s has provided (photo-shopped) pictures of Hugo boogying the night away with Madonna, Jennifer Aniston, Rosie O’Donnel, Alex Baldwin, Bill Clinton and the Dixie Chicks.
Rumors that Chavez has offered Danny Glover his own movie studio in a quaint jungle setting could not be confirmed. But others who attended the party said they were witness to a certain ‘chemistry’ between the two men. Harry Belaphoney obviously slighted by the move, sulked in the corner most of the evening.
While no official announcement has been made about Chavez’s successor as impotant dictator and despot…I mean President…insiders believe Sean Penn is on the fast-track.
Stay-tuned for further developments.
Note: misspellings, and sarcasm intended
WC
Update: for those of you interested in how this great humanitarian takes care of his own people go here
Could be a PR Problem
Posted on September 19, 2006 - Filed Under Current Events, Deep thoughts, Israel, Rants/Opinions, Terrorism, country, my opinions, philosophy & politics
A new article on World Net Daily entitled, Internet, Talk Radio Blamed for ‘Anti-muslim Violence’ has CAIR discussing how they believe that Talk Radio and the Internet are giving Muslims a bad name.
Some choice quotes from the article:
“A leading U.S. Islamic lobby group blames a purported rise in anti-Muslim harassment, violence and discriminatory treatment on the Internet and talk radio.”
and
“Hooper, nevertheless, charged the federal “Patriot Act” – laws designed to give authorities more resources to fight terrorism – has targeted Muslims unfairly.In its 2004 report, CAIR also claimed a “sharp jump” in “Islamophobic hate crimes” and blamed talk radio.”
Now call me crazy, but I’m thinking that it’s really things like this
(I believe that is an American Flag)
and perhaps this:
(this is a mock-up of the Pope)
And this:
(I’m thinking Israel)
And this:
(Not my kind of party)
And of course this celebratory impromptu pic on Sept 11th:
(they have a funny way of mourning)
And then there are their particular child-rearing philosophies:
Do you think that maybe, just maybe it’s these and countless other examples that make people think there is something to fear?
Me? I’m thinking it’s a definite PR problem and they need to get better photographers or better subjects. What do you think?
WC
