A Halloween Dud
Posted on October 31, 2006 - Filed Under Holiday, Humor, Just For Fun, Life, ab fab costumes, adventure, ghosts
I never really liked Halloween - mostly because my costumes were always such a dud. Besides the usual sheets with painted faces (ooh, scary ghost little girl) black leotards & whiskered faces - the usual stuff parents do to children too young to protest - mine were the worst.
I mean, you’d think somebody like me who says such an overactive imagination, costumes for Halloween would be a snap. But no…I guess my imagination ends with words. Maybe my mind is just too obtuse to translate into something as silly as Halloween.
Think I’m exagerating? Well here are some notables from the past: One year I dressed in my brother’s clothes, smeared charchol on my chin and put on a hat - I guess I was supposed to be a hobo - but most people asked me why I was wearing my brother’s clothes. I threw on a lab coat and horn-rimmed glasses and went as a psychiatrist but nobody even knew I was in costume.
Even the year I went as a witch I blew it. I worked in a sort of trendy L.A. bistro and all the waitresses were supposed to dress up as witches. So, I borrowed my sister’s one shoulder black flowy dress, sprayed my hair silver, made a necklace with torn black lace and a dead rose - added some ruby red lipstick and nail polish - a pair of hurt me boots and off I went. Oh my God, did I catch hell. When I arrived all the other girls were wearing shrouds, warts and nose prosthetics. Were they pissed!
“Hey, you were supposed to come as a witch!”
“I did,” said I.
They glared.
“Well,” I stammered, “nobody said I had to be an ugly witch.”
LOL - that went over like a lead broom stick.
Anyway, in the spirit of the season, I found some great little pics of people who are serious about their costumes.
The Ghouls Brothers?
The big & beautiful witchy assistant?
Wonder Woman? Wonder Man? You decide.
Feel free to come to my house if you’re trick or treating. I’ll definitely have some yummy chocolate candy and maybe be donning a pair of devil ears - but don’t expect a fog machine, ghosts hanging in the tree, scary doorbell sounds or even a carved pumpkin. Hell, you’ll be lucky if I hear you crying ‘Trick or Treat!’
WC
Artie, Pumpkins & the Perfect Costume
Posted on October 30, 2006 - Filed Under Holiday, Humor, Just For Fun, Life, adventure, yoiks
I met Artie when he was just 3 months old. He was the only redheaded baby I ever met and even at that age he had the cutest Charlie Brown smile you ever saw.
For me and Artie it was love at first sight. In fact, I think he was the catalyst to bringing about my friendship with my best friend Jen. The three of us had many adventures over the years - but one of my favorites was the last Halloween we spent together.
It was the coldest, wet-est October I can remember. Despite the unbelievable downpour, we needed to make a trip to the pumpkin patch to pick out a pumpkin. So, we three hydro-planed up Foothill Blvd to the big white tent that held more pumpkins you can imagine. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen so many pumpkins in one place. Certainly Artie never had and his eyes went wide when we went inside.
Even though he was only four he was very particular about his pumpkins and there was much deliberating to do:
Also stress tests needed to be done:
Finally a pumpkin was selected, paid for and we were back in Jen’s truck hydroplaning once again. I looked forward to a nice cup of coffee and some dry clothes but that was not in my immediate future.
Artie needed a costume. We went to the local KMart to find a suitable set of duds for young Arthur to don on the special day. Many were examined. Many were refused. Artie got grouchy and didn’t even want his picture taken for this one:
Can you blame him? I wouldn’t want to be seen in that one either. Although I’m not sure the one I was wearing was really suited to me either (can you say pumpkin face?)
After much looking and hunting and trying on, we left empty-handed. More rain, more running to the car. More hydroplaning. Yet another costume shop.
There were all manner of masks and capes, spears, devil’s ears (I got me some of that - I’m always for the understated look) and finally Artie found his perfect look:
And I was quite proud to join him on his trick or treating the following day. Something about little red-haired boys with Charlie Brown grins - they sure do get a lot of candy. Especially when they ask for more. By the end of the night it took both Jen and I to carry his haul. Thunk it went on the kitchen counter and out spilled candy enough for his entire preschool class.
Artie’s eyes glowed. “Is tomorrow Halloween too, Mommy?”
You gotta love a kid who always looks to the future.
WC
Joke of the Week
Posted on October 29, 2006 - Filed Under Humor, Joke Time, Just For Fun, Life, double yoiks
I take no credit for this at all - it was forwarded to me by a friend… WC
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies, “I have a question to ask you, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there is nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I”m single and I’m Catholic!”
“OK” the nun says, “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?”
“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied. I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”
Busted!
Posted on October 28, 2006 - Filed Under Humor, Just For Fun, Life, adventure, dining experience, i'm hungry, saturdays
Can you imagine what mama bear said when the cops called her? This pic cries out for a caption. Have at it.
WC
Take Me Out To The Ballgame…
Posted on October 27, 2006 - Filed Under Baseball, History, Just For Fun, Life, adventure, fangirly
I’m not much of a sports fan. In fact, by and large sports are kind of boring to me. Except Baseball. I love baseball. It could be because when I was a child I spent a lot of time with my grandpap who was a semi invalid. I would often sit with him in the livingroom and watch the game on tv. As the game played out he would explain to me what was going on.
I quickly learned what a pop fly, a shut out, a bunt, the squeeze and countless other things meant. And what they looked like. And I quickly began to appreciate anyone who could seemingly fly up into the air and snag a homerun wannabe ball and dash all hopes.
I think maybe because of grandpap and my early tutelidge in the game I became a diehard Tigers fan. Even now, even though I’ve lived in California for most of my adult life - I still have a softspot for those motor city madmen. There is just something about them that speaks of the best of ‘home’ to me. They take me back to my childhood, when popcorn was heaven and watching the game was the biggest thing going on in the world. When things felt safe and happy. And even if they got the pants beat off of them I never stopped loving my Tigers. I guess that’s what they call a fan.
One of my fondest memories was the 1968 World Series. It was Tigers vs the Cardinals. And what a series! It was a nail biter from beginning to end. It looked like the Cards were going to sweep the series but somewhere around game 5 my Tigers busted outta the box and the fight was on. They were not going to go quietly. The Cards were going to have to use every trick in their bat bag to beat them.
Maybe because I’d watched my Tigers from the time I was a tiny girl and knew the team - Stormin’ Norman Cash, Al Kaline, Wille (the Wonder) Horton, Bill Freehan, Mickey Lolich, Gates Brown, Mickey McClaine and the rest…I just had a feeling. I believed. I knew my Tigers were going to rally and come back to take the series. It was going the full seven games and they were going to win.
I watched the whole series with my then best friend Dorothy - we were on a babysitting job with some neighbor kids and made them watch too. Our eyes never left the set. Especially on Game 7. It was the one. The game that would decide it all.
And that final moment when catcher Bill Freehan caught that last out sent us over the edge. We screamed until we were hoarse. We danced. We celebrated. Our guys had done good!
Imagine my delight when I learned that this year’s series was once again between my beloved Tigers and the awesome Cards. I’ve been watching the series - and ironically, I find myself going back to my memories of the ‘68 series. This could be it tonight. The Cards could take it all. They have only to win one more game and they’re the champions. Yet…in my heart I’m hoping and believing that my Tigers will rally once again. They will get their blood boiling and their bats banging. And make this hometown girl proud as punch. Cuz though the players have changed, I think the spirit of the Tigers lives on - it transcends the players, the managers and coaches and is its own force to be reckoned with.
Wish them luck.
WC
Poster Girl
Posted on October 26, 2006 - Filed Under Current Events, Deep thoughts, Heroes, Inspirational Words, Life, Terrorism, honor, our troops, support our troops, tribute
Sorry guys, I don’t usually post two videos in one week but I just had to post this one.
It’s from Aussie singer Beccy Cole who is singing “Poster Girl” in response to some of her fans who disagree with her supporting the Diggers, the Australian soldiers fighting in Afghanistan.
Really makes me tear up.
WC
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/0BZ6aqgvdFI]
My Dinner With Zelda
Posted on October 25, 2006 - Filed Under Food, Humor, Life, adventure, dining experience, little rants, rat bastards
Yesterday I spent the entire afternoon working out some technical difficulties I was having with my blog. I became so engrossed in solving the problems that I completely forgot to eat. Well…I did manage to polish off a half a bag of cashews and a bottle of soda - but even I know that’s not really food.
So when Zelda called and said “Let’s go eat.” I was jumping into a decent set of togs and off we went. Since Zelda and I both have the bad habit of not eating when we should or sometimes eating at all, we were both nearing zero blood sugar - which made the ride to the bistro all that more exciting - so we needed to eat right away.
We opted for a neighborhood Italian place we both like and had dined at many times in the past. It’s one of those cute little places with the fake Tuscany ambience, red checked table cloths and oozes that incredible Italian aroma of cheese, garlic and fresh dough. My knees nearly buckled once we entered the place.
Happily we were taken to a table right away, given menus and quite close (we thought) to a lovely dining experience. Well the first thing we noticed was that all the waitresses had been replaced by waiters. My radar went up and I said to Zelda, “is this a waitress-free zone now?”
She wondered the same thing too but we reasoned that it looked the same and smelled the same, so again, we were in for a delightful dining experience. A pony-tailed waiter approached with a kind of phony, hi-how-are-you attitude and I just knew we were in for an experience - though not the one we wanted.
We ordered after continuous prodding by our smarmy friend. Zelda had her usual eggplant extravaganza and I ordered the chicken parmesan. Since I’m trying to reduce the size of my fat ass, I requested vegetables instead of the usual pasta. He gave me a fake smile and said, “okay but there may be an extra charge for that.”
“Really?” said I - surprised since I’d made the request before without any such charge.
“Yes, well…” he condescended, “you know that vegetables cost more than pasta.” I suppose since he didn’t know that I have 15 years experience in the food business that I would know that what he just said was a crock.
“Oh, alright,” I said - believing that if it were a significant difference he’d come back and tell me.
Then he remained out of our reach. He zipped this way and that. Took orders at other tables. Brought out food for other patrons. Yet there we sat with water and bread - but no salad. So we waited some more. And waited. And waited. Finally the salads arrived but were brought by the busboy not our waiter.
Of course, not halfway through the salad our dinners arrived. So we either let dinner get cold and finished our salads or just gave up on our salads and ate dinner while it was hot. When Zelda asked for more napkins he smirked, grabbed a stack and tossed them on the table (now crowded with our salad plates that needed to be taken away, etc.) as he rushed past us.
I asked Zelda if she was liking our little waiter friend and she surely wasn’t. The odds were stacking against him. He never came by to see how dinner was (not as good as usual - and the veggies, inedible) nor if we wanted more water, bread, drinks or well…anything.
Eventually, I got his attention and asked for a container to take the rest of my dinner home. He was annoyed but got the boxes and again tossed them onto the table. Zelda gave me the eye and we were definitely not enjoying our dinner. Our dirty plates sat on our table for about 15 minutes despite the fact that he passed our table several times, saw them and ignored them.
Finally he came by to ask if everything was okay and did we want anything else. We asked for the check. When it arrived I almost screamed. The extra charge for my inedible veggies - $5! Five fricking dollars for a half a handful of veggies. He charged me as though I was ordering ala carte.
Well that was it for me. I figured he didn’t want a tip for me but preferred to pay for my veggies instead. So, I let him. And apparently Zelda felt that he had paid for her napkins as well.
And so the charge slip was signed and totaled with no tip for our smarmy, jerk off waiter. Who apparently didn’t realize that he screwed with two women who both tip on average 25%. I’m not even sure we’ll ever go back to that eatery to be honest. I mean if I want to be harassed during dinner I can stay home. At least Roomie is happy to bus my dishes and even eat the leftovers if there are any. Plus he’ll put the dishes in the dishwasher.
So…if you’re a little, I’m-too-cute-for-words waiter and you see two women sitting in your section for dinner - you may do well to not decide they are lousy tippers and not worth your time. Or you may just have a self-fulfilling prophecy.
WC
I’ve Been Splogged! Yoiks & Double!!%&*#@$%
Posted on October 24, 2006 - Filed Under acts of idiocy, dasterdly deeds, double yoiks, rat bastards, splogging, theives
It’s official, I have hit the big time - cuz I’ve been splogged. What’s that you ask? Well Wikipedia has a definition here. But near as I can tell it’s when some jamoke either steals your content via feed or blog surfing, posts it on their site and pretends like it was okay with you for them to do that.
Once you get to this splogger site it is loaded with ads, click thru’s and junk to the max. My particular splogger made the mistake of doing a pingback - otherwise I might never have known about it. The comment looked odd, so of course I investigated. To say my head almost exploded when I saw it puts it mildly.
I immediately contacted Support at Word Press hoping they knew what I could do about it. Unfortunately, there really wasn’t much that could be done about it - but tech support did send me to the forum where there is an ongoing discussion on the issue, which you can find here .
Not being the damsel in distress type - whilst waiting for Support to answer my request I returned to the site and posted a comment - can you believe these idiots were stupid enough to allow comments on this - which said, I was on to them and they had no right to take my stuff, post it, link it, mention it, etc. I was firm but not obscene. Although obscenity might not have been a bad idea….
And are you ready for the kicker? The site was called Yoiks Digest Blog! And yep, they had not one, not two, not just three but EVERY post I ever made on this blog with a category of yoiks! And it gets worse, the only posts on the entire blog were mine! Mine! Nobody else’s. No other yoiks posts stolen from any other blog. Nope! Just mine!
I tried to hunt down the hosting site which has the handle of kdblogs.com but to no avail. However during my Goo-gle search and scramble, I did discover there are tons of these blogs and lo and behold they are all digests. So you might wanna check it em out - if only to harass them.
There is a sort of happy ending to this story - when I went back to the digest to see if there was any other information I could find there - the link didn’t work and I got a page telling me the site had been pulled by the webmaster. Nice, eh? Make some noise, maybe just maybe they hear you. Could be that little lock ‘n’ load sound registered all the way through my computer.
PS: Wiki does have some refs in the bottom of their definition of sites that may be able to help you prevent this sort of thing from happening to you. I went to one of the site’s they linked to and from my technical expertise level it will take some study on my part to use their solution. But I do think it’s worth looking into.
WC
Let the Voting Begin
Posted on October 23, 2006 - Filed Under Current Events, Humor, Just For Fun, Life, Politics, acts of idiocy, double yoiks, voting day
Well…actually I’m a little early but I’ve been dying to post this vid. Enjoy! WC
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/KJmbomyq0fc]
Her Name Was Helen
Posted on October 22, 2006 - Filed Under Deep thoughts, Heroes, History, Inspirational Words, adventure, honor, motivation
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” Helen Keller
Translation(mine): Go big or stay home.
If you’d like to learn more about this amazing woman, go here.
WC
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