My Dinner With Zelda
Posted on October 25, 2006 - Filed Under Food, Humor, Life, adventure, dining experience, little rants, rat bastards
Yesterday I spent the entire afternoon working out some technical difficulties I was having with my blog. I became so engrossed in solving the problems that I completely forgot to eat. Well…I did manage to polish off a half a bag of cashews and a bottle of soda - but even I know that’s not really food.
So when Zelda called and said “Let’s go eat.” I was jumping into a decent set of togs and off we went. Since Zelda and I both have the bad habit of not eating when we should or sometimes eating at all, we were both nearing zero blood sugar - which made the ride to the bistro all that more exciting - so we needed to eat right away.
We opted for a neighborhood Italian place we both like and had dined at many times in the past. It’s one of those cute little places with the fake Tuscany ambience, red checked table cloths and oozes that incredible Italian aroma of cheese, garlic and fresh dough. My knees nearly buckled once we entered the place.
Happily we were taken to a table right away, given menus and quite close (we thought) to a lovely dining experience. Well the first thing we noticed was that all the waitresses had been replaced by waiters. My radar went up and I said to Zelda, “is this a waitress-free zone now?”
She wondered the same thing too but we reasoned that it looked the same and smelled the same, so again, we were in for a delightful dining experience. A pony-tailed waiter approached with a kind of phony, hi-how-are-you attitude and I just knew we were in for an experience - though not the one we wanted.
We ordered after continuous prodding by our smarmy friend. Zelda had her usual eggplant extravaganza and I ordered the chicken parmesan. Since I’m trying to reduce the size of my fat ass, I requested vegetables instead of the usual pasta. He gave me a fake smile and said, “okay but there may be an extra charge for that.”
“Really?” said I - surprised since I’d made the request before without any such charge.
“Yes, well…” he condescended, “you know that vegetables cost more than pasta.” I suppose since he didn’t know that I have 15 years experience in the food business that I would know that what he just said was a crock.
“Oh, alright,” I said - believing that if it were a significant difference he’d come back and tell me.
Then he remained out of our reach. He zipped this way and that. Took orders at other tables. Brought out food for other patrons. Yet there we sat with water and bread - but no salad. So we waited some more. And waited. And waited. Finally the salads arrived but were brought by the busboy not our waiter.
Of course, not halfway through the salad our dinners arrived. So we either let dinner get cold and finished our salads or just gave up on our salads and ate dinner while it was hot. When Zelda asked for more napkins he smirked, grabbed a stack and tossed them on the table (now crowded with our salad plates that needed to be taken away, etc.) as he rushed past us.
I asked Zelda if she was liking our little waiter friend and she surely wasn’t. The odds were stacking against him. He never came by to see how dinner was (not as good as usual - and the veggies, inedible) nor if we wanted more water, bread, drinks or well…anything.
Eventually, I got his attention and asked for a container to take the rest of my dinner home. He was annoyed but got the boxes and again tossed them onto the table. Zelda gave me the eye and we were definitely not enjoying our dinner. Our dirty plates sat on our table for about 15 minutes despite the fact that he passed our table several times, saw them and ignored them.
Finally he came by to ask if everything was okay and did we want anything else. We asked for the check. When it arrived I almost screamed. The extra charge for my inedible veggies - $5! Five fricking dollars for a half a handful of veggies. He charged me as though I was ordering ala carte.
Well that was it for me. I figured he didn’t want a tip for me but preferred to pay for my veggies instead. So, I let him. And apparently Zelda felt that he had paid for her napkins as well.
And so the charge slip was signed and totaled with no tip for our smarmy, jerk off waiter. Who apparently didn’t realize that he screwed with two women who both tip on average 25%. I’m not even sure we’ll ever go back to that eatery to be honest. I mean if I want to be harassed during dinner I can stay home. At least Roomie is happy to bus my dishes and even eat the leftovers if there are any. Plus he’ll put the dishes in the dishwasher.
So…if you’re a little, I’m-too-cute-for-words waiter and you see two women sitting in your section for dinner - you may do well to not decide they are lousy tippers and not worth your time. Or you may just have a self-fulfilling prophecy.
WC
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What a charming guy! Get the owner’s email address and send them a link to your post. I’m getting nasty in my old age and nothing makes me happier than an employer knowing what sleeze they have working for them.
Now that’s a thought KTOO. I may just try that. Thanks!
WC
how to win friends and influence the customer in one easy step…you have far more tolerance than me, i would have had the manager out there and made such a to do the meals would have been free and a complimentary one for next time…anything less than 150% customer service is simply not acceptable…to pick and choose who does and doesn’t receive the attention that customers require just isn’t good enough…i know, i know, the customer from hell has just visited your blog, it’s all been said before chicken
It isn’t that I didn’t think of doing it, Mo - but I was so beat I just didn’t have the energy, so I let it pass. I never said you were the customer from hell. When I waited tables I always really tried to give my customers good service - as i would have liked it. You know? Things I guess have changed.
WC
i was just being facetious sweetie….and i know it’s painful trying to find the energy to complain when it’s the end of a long day, all you want to do is eat and go home….and the way you waited tables is the way it should be…over here most people talk with their feet and simply don’t go back…most times i like to give them a 2nd chance
I know you were pulling my leg (now stop that! lol). Most times I like to give 2nd chances too - but in this case, I’m thinking…no.
chicken
For extremely shitty service always leave a penny on the table for a tip. That way they know that you didn’t just forget to tip. A gratuity should be earned not just given as some sort of god given right because you are wearing a fucking apron. Shitty service should be rewarded by shitty tips and a swift kick in the ass.
Evyl, I forgot about that - it would have been a good message. LOL. Zelda and I should bring you along next time - I’ll betcha we’d some mighty fine service then.
WC
I would have left him 26 cents; 25 for a fresh tampon and a penny to wedge up his tight waiter ass.
I’ve had nightmare meals with the fam over the years and this post turned my light ‘green’ on memory lane.
Good stuff, WC.
~m
LOL! I love the tampon suggestion! Wouldn’t that be confusing to ol’ ponytail boy?
WC
I had a (few) similar experiences. The most recent (about 2 years ago). My girlfriend was having dinner at a very nice (not quite swanky-but almost) steakhouse restaurant. She asked if i wanted to join her. Well my money was tight, but I told her that I’d come up and keep her company and have tea & dessert. So (at the time I lived in apartments) I brought my neighbor/friend along. Well my friend had been seated at a 1/2 table and there were 3 of us (barely) squeezed in. My friend had already started on her crab legs, but was awaiting her melted butter. I ordered (hot) tea…..20 minutes later the tea arrived, luke warm. My friend had received her 1st melted butter, but never her refill. In the meantime dishes were piling up on the (edge) if you can call it that of the table. So (10 minutes later) when I finally got the waitresses attention (she too didn’t feel it necessary to “check us”, I told her that my tea was cold and I needed “hot” water, and I ordered dessert. 10 minutes later, i did receive hot tea & dessert. The plates now looked like the Tower of Piza stacked on the edge barely holding on, and still she did not clear them. Well enough was enough, my neighbor/friend went and got the manager and told them what for, but no one got free dinners/because the restaurants in Michigan will not do that, no matter what the reason, but my girlfriend got a $25.00 gift certificate for her next visit. Her meal alone with drinks was closer to $50.00. We were told that our waitress was “new” blah blah blah blah. Hey I understand new, but the chick NEVER CAME BACK, NEVER BROUGHT OUR STUFF IN A TIMELY MATTER, NEVER CLEARED OUR DISHES AND (MOST IMPORTANTLY) NEVER CAME BY TO ASK US IF EVERTHING WAS OK??? Quite frankly I see that as just plain old bad manners and has nothing to do with being new. What I really think is that we now live in a world filled with people with absolutely no common sense, but hey that’s just my take on it. (Stepping off of soap box)
Peace Out,
FC
No common sense or no common decency. I think people make snap judgments sometimes, especially wait staff - they are angling for the best tip, so figure they can ignore certain customers. It’s not a good way to operate - even if they are right - they are there to do a job and serve food to customers. I also don’t understand why a manager would defend them - it doesn’t do his business any good to have people lke that on their staff.
WC
Extra charge–boy, they get ya comin and going don’t they?
When I have a bad waiter/waitress, for a tip, I usually write ‘Get Another Job’ on the napkin, and leave it right in the middle of the table!!!
SB, that’s hysterical! I’ll definitely remember that one.
WC
Having worked in hospitality and restaurants for years, I am disgusted at seeing or hearing about bad service! Your either a people person and make a good waiter/ress or your not and make a bad one. It’s up to the restaurants to pick good staff, some people just should NOT be in hospitality…I always prided myself on being a good judge of character when it came to interviewing people. This bloke would have been lucky to be allowed to wash the damn dishes in any restaurant I had a say in…hehehehehe
Sounds like you and Zelda were fairly tame in comparison to what I would have done!! I have zero tolerance for bad service…
Hope your next dining experience is a little better!
Cheers, Kelly
LOL Kel, he’s probably doesn’t have potential as a dishwasher either, since he didn’t seem to notice dirty dishes.
WC