Three Parrots
Posted on January 31, 2008 - Filed Under Humor, Just For Fun, brain farts
Mwuahahahahahahahahahahahaha
(h.t. to Marli)
Remember Florida…
Posted on January 29, 2008 - Filed Under Election 2008, WTF?, assclowns
I know there are those (the liberal media, for example) who are doing the happy dance because Florida has been “called” for McCain. Yet, only about 50% of the vote is in - the absentee ballots are not yet counted and the margin between he and Romney is a mere 4 points.
Is it me, or does it feel like there are those who are trying to convince us that he is the foregone conclusion and so we’d better get used to it? Well, I feel that way.
And too, let us not forget just how much confusion, hanging chads, pregnant chads and unreadable ballots Florida seems to have in its past. And don’t forget about how the press likes to call elections too early in Florida. It must be some karmic thing about that state. Perhaps it’s the fact that people have insisted on inhabiting a swamp that nature is constantly trying to take back. Or maybe it’s the humidity that just gets newscasters all soft in the brain. I dunno. But I do find it incredibly interesting that no matter what people think have happened in Florida it almost always turns out to be something different.
As for you Citizen McCain - you could no more unite the party than you could hold your temper at poker game where you were losing. You are no standard bearer for anyone, much less conservatives.
And to any conservatives out there who truly believe that voting for McCain is somehow different from voting for Hillary Clinton - wake up. Now, would be a really good time.
WC
Tips, Tricks & Things You Probably Didn’t Know
Posted on January 28, 2008 - Filed Under brain farts, heads up, really cool shit, tips
(H.T. to my friend Marli - personally, I can’t wait to try some of these. WC)
- Peel a banana from the bottom and you won’t have to pick the little “stringy things” off of it. That’s how the primates do it.
- Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
- Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
- Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
- Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
- To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
- For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints indouble broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
- Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
- Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simple chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream.
- Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy No soggy micro pizza.
- Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
- When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
- To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
- Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.
- Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can’t see easily.
- To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn’t hurt the plant and the squirrels won’t come near it. (This really works for any leaf chewing varmits - I’ve tried it. WC)
- To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
- Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and — ta da! — static is gone.
- Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don’t dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.
- Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
- If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
- Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It’s cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It’s also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn’t like when you tried it in your hair.
- To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2″ with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
- Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it”home,” can’t digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works & you don’t have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
- The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material. I’m sure you know what your dryer’s lint filter looks like. Well,…the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn’t go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that’s what burns out the heating unit. You can’t SEE the film, but it’s there It’s what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free — that nice fragrance too, you know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box, well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire & potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!
So, there you have it, a tip or trick for everyone. Enjoy! WC
Hillary-isms
Posted on January 27, 2008 - Filed Under Humor, Just For Fun, assclowns, brain farts
No, she’s definitely not talking about the war - at least, not the one in Iraq.
I don’t know what the hairdresser means - I really like Hillary’s hair.
Well, we all may laugh, but apparently this strategy worked - makes me sad that women can be so easily taken in.
Who says there isn’t truth in advertising?
Once again proving Kevin Bacon’s 3 degree of separation theory.
(H.T. to Gerrry & Zelda)
Dear Editor
Posted on January 25, 2008 - Filed Under Election 2008, brain farts, candidates, my opinions, satire
(Imagine my delight, when I discovered yesterday that the NY Times had some advice for Republican/conservative voters. Quotes from article in italics and block quoted. WC)
Dear NY Times Editor,
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to do an in-depth analysis on which Republican candidate is best suited to become the President of the United States and for whom I (we) should vote.
We have strong disagreements with all the Republicans running for president. The leading candidates have no plan for getting American troops out of Iraq. They are too wedded to discredited economic theories and unwilling even now to break with the legacy of President Bush. We disagree with them strongly on what makes a good Supreme Court justice.
Still, there is a choice to be made, and it is an easy one. Senator John McCain of Arizona is the only Republican who promises to end the George Bush style of governing from and on behalf of a small, angry fringe. With a record of working across the aisle to develop sound bipartisan legislation, he would offer a choice to a broader range of Americans than the rest of the Republican field.
Being the backward, bible-thumping, cousin-marrying, gun-toting, truck-driving, beer- drinking, country-music-listening, grade school-educated moron that I am, I truly appreciate your going through the pain of the selection process for me (us).
After all, there are only twenty four hours in the day and formulating vast right wing conspiracies take up a good portion of that, with precious little left for bible study and refining effective approaches to perpetrating hate crimes. So, as you can see, I don’t have the time to contemplate anything as inconsequential as who might lead the free world for the next four years.
To say that I am deeply touched by your concern for my political welfare doesn’t begin to describe my feelings about your ever-so-helpful article (endorsement) about/of Senator John McCain.
And what a candidate you have selected for me (us)! There is no Republican on Earth more like Hillary Clinton than Citizen McCain. His uncanny ability to co-opt liberal causes and betray his party and principles of same are unparallelled in the civilized world.
But Mr. McCain took a stand, just as he did in recognizing the threat of global warming early. He has been a staunch advocate of campaign finance reform, working with Senator Russ Feingold, among the most liberal of Democrats, on groundbreaking legislation, just as he worked with Senator Edward Kennedy on immigration reform.
Like Mrs. Clinton, Senator McCain has truly mastered the skill of talking out of both sides of his mouth whilst never moving his lips.
We have shuddered at Mr. McCain’s occasional, tactical pander to the right because he has demonstrated that he has the character to stand on principle. He was an early advocate for battling global warming and risked his presidential bid to uphold fundamental American values in the immigration debate. A genuine war hero among Republicans who proclaim their zeal to be commander in chief, Mr. McCain argues passionately that a country’s treatment of prisoners in the worst of times says a great deal about its character. …
Mr. McCain was one of the first prominent Republicans to point out how badly the war in Iraq was being managed. We wish he could now see as clearly past the temporary victories produced by Mr. Bush’s unsustainable escalation, which have not led to any change in Iraq’s murderous political calculus. At the least, he owes Americans a real idea of how he would win this war, which he says he can do.
For all I know, he is actually a marionette getting his jollies by having your hand up his ass. Which could explain that silly, goofy grin he often wears, as well as his Howdy Doody voice
You make a fine case for endorsing the Senator who never met a liberal cause he didn’t like and a very convincing argument to vote for him - And iff’in I was a Democrat, I certainly would.
Still, I do appreciate that a newspaper with the stature of The New York Times, would have my back in terms of my electorate health and I will check back later to see who you might be endorsing for the upcoming election of the local dogcatcher and the Hunkiest Garbage Man Contest.
It’s nice to know that a main stream publication can be fair and objective in its recommendations to one and all.
Sincerely,
Writer Chick - who apparently fell off the turnip truck yesterday.
If you want to read the article, you can find it here.
Update:
To read a little about McCain’s legendary temperment check this out.
Is Nature Telling Us Something?
Posted on January 25, 2008 - Filed Under Food, Just For Fun, brain farts, nature
This was sent to me by my pal, Jenny. I found it really fascinating - it could very well be that nature does mimic the human body and connect to it more than we realize. WC
A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye…and science shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart is red and has four chambers. All of the research shows tomatoes are indeed pure heart and blood food.
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows that grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds are on the nut just like the neo-cortex. We now know that walnuts help develop over 3 dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.
Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet the body pulls it from the bones, making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.
Eggplant, Avocadoes and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? …. It takes exactly 9 months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemica l cons tituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).
Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the motility of male sperm and increase the numbers of sperm as well, to overcome male sterility.
Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.
Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.
Grapefruits, Oranges, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.
Onions look like body cells. Today’s research shows that onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes.
No wonder they are always on us to eat our fruits and veggies. 
The Hunt is On
Posted on January 20, 2008 - Filed Under Dear Readers..., adventure, crap!
Hey Everybody - well, I’m sad to say that the fun and games are over and it’s time for me to actually go get a job now. So, you probably won’t see much of me for the next few days or maybe longer. Wish me luck.
Annie
Brain Dribble…
Posted on January 17, 2008 - Filed Under brain farts, really stupid shit
So much for the issues of the day…WC
I want to crawl into a womb made of pillows and quilts and float on the amnionic fluid of my dreams. Sucking my thumb and wondering not about my name or purpose in life. Just sleep in the afternoon sun, alongside my fat cat, all fur and purr. Let go of whatever obligations I’ve convinced myself belong to me.
Release myself from the body that nags and worries - snicks and snacks - itches and burps.
Send my mind off to play with the neighboring psyches and not come home again until it has learned the secrets of the Universe and can recite them by heart.
Let my soul wander through Imagination’s deep forest until it finds the lush greens, smells the blues of the sky and learns the dance of the stars. Then sends my heart to find the love owned by all, that never dies but gives me the pulse to keep going.
What Gives You The Right?
Posted on January 16, 2008 - Filed Under WTF?, assclowns, little rants
You know, in the last couple of weeks I’ve had something remarkable happen. And I don’t mean that in a good way.
A couple of weeks ago, a person showed up and made some comments on a post I’d written about Hillary Clinton. No problem, I’m all about comments and interaction. But her whole purpose in visiting, apparently was to berate and chastise me and spew insults. She seemed to have no other point.
Then this morning, some person (a man?) commented on the current post. Well, it wasn’t exactly a comment - it was about 20 paras of profanity. I actually tried to edit it, but it was impossible because every other word it seemed was bleepable. So, I simply wrote him a letter in the comment box.
The thing that really gets me is this, what gives people the right to do this sort of thing? I mean, look as a blogger I know that if I write something with a strong opinion, others will have strong opinions about it too. They often may disagree with me. I have no problem with that. In fact, I usually welcome a good debate. How else do we learn or get to see things from another perspective. However, when it’s just venom or garbage instead of any particular view, what exactly do these guys think I’m going to do with that?
Is it some psychological thing? They are so screwed up that they simply can’t communicate in any logical or rational manner? Are their meds in so need of adjustment that they simply can’t be civil?
Or do they think that since the Internet offers anonymity that they can just zip over to your site, dump all over you and steal away like a theif in the night? Are they not aware that their IP address is there for me to follow? Do they not know that I can track them? Do they really think they are anonymous? They aren’t.
So, Cassy in Minnesota and Jimmy in Virginia - I suggest you rethink your marauding blog strategy. Or better yet, get your own damn blog and spew your hatred for all to see. Show the world your utter lack of intelligence and vocabulary to anyone lost enough to visit you. Let the world know who you are by posting your crap day after day. And make sure you put your name on it. Find a way to get your own readers - I’m sure they’re out there. There are tons of pathetic, inept, nasty jerks of like minds out there who will happily come to your places and commiserate about how the whole world (save you) are total idiots - and that you and you alone have your finger on the pulse of the truth. Find a forum that wants you. I sure as hell don’t and neither would most intelligent people.
See how that works for you.
WC
The 13th of Meme
Posted on January 14, 2008 - Filed Under Humor, WTF?, brain farts
Okay, so upfront I’m going to confess that I stole this from CowGal. It was simply too damn good to let it pass.
Following, are the 13 books I would buy if they had ever been written and were available.
- How to Win friends and Influence People to Give You Their Money (And anything else of value.)
- I’m Okay, You’re Okay - But, I’m More Okay Than You (Self esteem is very important.)
- The Gay Adventures of Barney the Purple Dragon (Come on, we all know he’s getting his freak on)
- The Baskins Robbins (31 flavors) Diet (It would have to come with a funhouse mirror though)
- How to Get Your Atlas to Shrug (My atlas refuses to do anything but lie there.)
- How to Turn Your Piggy Room Mate Into a Cleaning Zombie (Who wouldn’t want that?)
- Take This Job and Shove it Up Your Ass and Give Me a Nice Severance Package While You’re At It. (Don’t we all dream of this?)
- The Secret Sex Life of Big Bird (Hey, he spent his life with somebody’s hand up his butt, he must have some kinky secrets, right?)
- Al Gore: The Global Years (He is really starting to look global, doncha think?)
- Fear of Flying in the Center Row (Nobody is that thin!)
- How to Get Rich by Being You (I never said I wasn’t lazy.)
- Sex in the City and the Country and Overseas and in the Bathtub (I don’t see any reason to restrict it to the city.)
- Horny Christmas Games (It just sounds fun, doesn’t it?)
keep looking » 
