Doggie Radar
Posted on April 16, 2008 - Filed Under my opinions
Hi Guys, have you missed me? LOL. Yeah, I know I’ve been scarce but working on becoming rich and famous takes time. 
Okay, so I take the pooch for our usual morning walk the other day. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining the the sky was as blue as Mel Gibson’s eyes and life was good. We were chugging up the trail that leads toward the Angeles Crest Forest - though a road runs up there and cars often zoom by on their way to a woodland emergency (apparently), it’s usually a pretty peaceful walk. Lots of sky, lots of fresh air, hoards black-eyed Susans wave to you as you walk by, and crows screech their crazy talk as they sail overhead looking for roadkill. In a word, pretty nice.
So, anyway, me and pooch are walking along the path, me daydreaming, she dragging me like the lead mutt in a sledding team when suddenly she nearly trips me by walking backwards. Now, I have to say that my pooch, Maggie, is one talented little dog. She can jump three feet in the air, especially if a doggie treat is involved - smile, chase her tail non-stop for fifteen minutes and even retrieve her new pink tennis ball and bring it back to me….sorta. But walking backwards was a new trick and I had to stop what I was doing - daydreaming - and see what the deal was.
Well, apparently, there was a woman walking on the other side of the road and somewhat behind us. She seemed harmless enough - middle-aged, donning sneakers and sweats and hair in a pontail - possibly even a baseball cap on her noggin. Like I said, harmless. But Maggie would not take her eyes off this woman. I’d walk, she’d stop and pull me backwards and I’d see the woman that she was staring at. I kept reassuring Magie that it was merely a soccer mom out for her morning constitutional but Maggie wasn’t buying it. Clearly, she believed the woman to part of a secret FBI operation or a drug ring and knew she had to keep her eye on the chick.
At one point, the woman crossed the road and stopped at the railing to look down at the riverbed. I wondered if we were freaking her out by being so uber-aware of her and felt a little embarrassed to be honest with you. But soon enough, she was walking again and Maggie just flat out refused to do anything but watch the woman. Finally, we just stood there and watched as the woman passed. Odd though, because she never once looked at me or acknowledged us in any way. Customarily, in these parts, if you see another person walking when you’re out and about, they say ‘Good morning’ or something. But nope, this one just kept on walking. And I swear I heard a little bit of that Twilight Zone music as she ambled by.
I’m starting to think she was an alien clone and Maggie just wanted to make sure we didn’t get beamed up to the mother ship. You gotta love that doggie radar.
WC
The Terrible Two’s
Posted on April 10, 2008 - Filed Under my opinions
My buddy Reggie sent me a little email meme and it inspired me so much that I jazzed it up and thought I’d post it here.
Funny how things come in two’s…or is it three’s? Hmmm…. 
WC
Two names you go by:
1. Annie
2. Stupid Cow
Two names you’d rather go by:
1. Princess of the Universe
2. Emma
Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Sneakers
2. Sweats
Two things you’d rather be wearing right now:
1. A handsome, horny man
2. A dress made of $50 bills
Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. An agent
2. My novel published
Two things you don’t want very badly at the moment:
1. Any kind of disease
2. Acne
Two things you did last night:
1. Read
2. Cooked
Two things you wished you done last night:
1. Dined with the President
2. Signed a publishing contract
Two things you ate yesterday:
1. Tri-tip stir fry
2. Breadless turkey sandwich
Two things you wished you ate yesterday:
1. Snickers Bar
2. Chocolate, chocolate-chip Hagen Daas
Two people you last talked to:
1. Roomie
2. Zelda
Two people you wish would talk to you:
1. God
2. Eric Clapton
Two Things you’re doing tomorrow:
1. Submitting to more agents
2. Drum up work
Two things you wish you were doing tomorrow:
1. Having sex on a private beach
2. Depositing gobs of money in my bank account.
Two longest car rides:
1. California to Florida
2. Florida to California
Two cars you would like to drive:
1. Baby Humvy
2. Beamer
Two favorite holidays or vacations:
1. Christmas
2. Fourth of July
Two holidays that should exist but don’t:
1. National Blogger Day
2. Give Away Money Day
Two favorite beverages:
1. Diet Coke
2. Coffee
Two beverages you’re not allowed to drink:
1. Jack Daniels
2. Tequila
Face Value
Posted on April 9, 2008 - Filed Under my opinions
I was wondering yesterday if we just take things too much at face value, you know? The current pre-election frenzy seems like a good example. We all want change (or at least those of us who do) so we gravitate to Obama. We want experience so we gravitate to Hillary (presumedly). We all want wisdom, so we gravitate toward McCain. Well, maybe that isn’t quite a good example but you get my point.
It seems many of us are guilty of not really looking too much below the surface. In way, I suppose that’s good, lest we see something we don’t like. Or maybe we are just too trusting and long to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s possible.
Then there are the other types of face value. For example, you look around at your life and you see mountains of debt, worries and trouble and think this is your lot in life. You know that today will be repeated tomorrow and the tomorrow after that. You know this because yesterday was the same as today. But is it really? Are we really in such little control of our lives and the destiny of our futures?
I’ve been wondering a lot about this lately. I’ve been wondering what would happen if I just decided that I don’t buy that any more. You know? In fact, I took a bit of a leap of faith not that long ago. I had a job that for whatever reason was toxic to me. Literally making me ill and I honestly thought I’d end up with some horrible malady if I stayed on. I’m not really blaming anyone for this - things like this happen and really it was my own problem. So, my solution was to quit. I had some money put aside and felt I could just take some time off and cool down, chill out and figure out what to do next.
But a funny thing happened - I never got another job. I meant to. I intended to. And yet, in the end I didn’t. And sometimes I think about this and think, ‘jeez you are frickin loony tunes for doing this.’ I think that I ought to be scared and worried and feel all twisted up inside. Yet, I don’t. Yet, somehow I know that everything will be alright. I know that everything I need will somehow come to me - whether it be money, work, friends, food, whatever - somehow it will come my way.
How on earth could I feel this way? There are no visible signs in the universe that this makes any sense or that I am likely to survive with such a plan. Yet I have. My days are no longer filled with stress or worry, nor office politics. They are filled with educating myself, looking for new opportunities, writing, pursuing agents and publishers and so on. In short, I am actually finally pursuing my life, as I want it to be.
This is not to say that I don’t sometimes get worried or concerned. I do. I’m human, in a way it is our job to be worried and have dramas. Yet whenever I do, there is something inside me that says I’m doing the right thing, I’m going about this correctly. That I have good reason to believe in myself and my goals. And what’s more, that my goals are worthy and by being so they will sustain me somehow - they will bring to me whatever luck and serendipity that I need.
So, I’ve stopped accepting things at face value. I’ve looked deeply into my soul and found out what and who I am and I’m basically betting the ranch on it. I think at the very least, it will be quite the adventure.
WC
Favorite Paranoid Thoughts
Posted on April 8, 2008 - Filed Under my opinions
Hey, just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean somebody isn’t out to get you, right? Here are a few of my favorite paranoid thoughts:
1. Why is he/she/it looking at me like that?
2. Does this dress makes my ass look fat?
3. Are they talking about me?
4. Why is that cop following so closely behind me?
5. How come they got a bigger scoop of ice cream than I did?
6. Why did they get their dinner first? We ordered before them.
7. Am I talking too loudly? Too much? Not enough?
8. Why do they hate this post?
9. God is punishing me which is why I am poor, fat, have pimples, can’t sing well enough to audition for American Idol or something else.
10. I just know my boss is going to fire me, my boyfriend is going to split up with me, my friends don’t like me anymore.
11. They didn’t hire me because I’m too old, too fat, too white, a woman, an atheist or something else.
12. My dog likes roomie better than me.
13. I just know that clicking on my phone is the FBI using their damned Patriot Act.
14. The credit card company just knows I’m using that cash advance to pay my rent and they’re going to lower my limit.
15. Why do these things always happen to me?
Feel free to add to the list.
WC
Barista Babies…
Posted on April 7, 2008 - Filed Under my opinions
I don’t know about you, but whenever I go into my local Starbuck’s I have a heck of a time just getting my darn coffee and getting out of there. The funny thing is that it doesn’t seem to matter how many customers are there or not there, nor how many baristas are standing behind the counter. They just don’t move like the greased lightning that I’d like them to.
Happily, I’m not addicted to their coffee and don’t need to hit the local unit on a daily basis, or I’d have a serious breakdown and probably end up in jail.
Aside from their slower than molasses in January approach to service, the other thing that kind of gets me is the ubiqutious tip jar. I’ve noticed over the years that many fast food, or fast service places have taken to putting up tip jars on the service counter. And somehow we’ve all become convinced that we should tip the guy for doing his job. I mean, how much service is there involved in ringing up a latte and yelling it to the other pimply-faced kid to make it?
It could very well be that I’m a little sensitive about this because I waited tables for many years and I have the bunions to prove it. Serving coffee to a bunch of people who will patiently wait in line until the milk foam is just right is nothing compared to feeding 50-60 people lunch in a one to two hour period, who are all hungry and in a hurry. Sometimes it’s not too pretty. And truly, for that kind of stuff you do deserve a tip if you give good service.
Many people may not know that the word tip, insofar as the food industry is concerned is an ancronyn that stands for ‘to insure promptness.’ And was a tradition that started in jolly ol’ England during the major seafaring days. When the sailors who’d been out to sea for God knows how long and finally returned to shore they would hit the local pubs. It was a mad house by all accounts and in order to get the serving wench’s attention they would put money on the table. The wenches being the clever gals that they were would naturally go to the tables that had the most pennies waiting there for them. And the money did indeed promptness.
These days the only thing you’re ensuring is that you feel fricking guilty if you don’t tip anybody who seems to expect it.
Anyway, the point of this story is the ridiculous court case that recently came to the conclusion that Starbuck’s had to pay employees millions of dollars in tips that were shared by shift supervisors in their many California stores. This is one of those, now I’ve heard everything stories. Clearly, whomever sat in the jury or the judge or both, never worked in the food industry because if they did, they would realize that a shift supervisor is not a manager - which was their claim - but really just an employee who the management feels is trustworthy enough to give a set of keys to. Actually, generally speaking they are likely the most responsible of the crew and the person who steps in and helps you when everybody else is ignoring you - and basically does all the duties of any regular worker in addition to being responsible that the place doesnt’ burn to the ground.
All this aside, since when does the government get to tell a private company what policy to have in their business - unless it has to do with safety or health the government has no dang business telling Starbuck’s or anyone else who can and who cannot have tips, guiltily extracted from customers too spineless to object.
Personally, I’d like to meet the baristas who filed this lawsuit, I’d be willing to bet they are a hoard of shiftless and relatively useless individuals who really need to get a life. Rather than find a career or job that pays better, they’d rather stick a knife in the back of a fellow worker for a few coins. Yeah, I have to say, this really makes me want to tip them more, how about you?
WC
Imagination and Inspiration. What’s Next? - Guest Post by Nuke Gingrich
Posted on April 6, 2008 - Filed Under my opinions
Hey everybody, here’s a treat - an article by the famous power-blogger, Nuke Gingrich. It’s a goodie. WC
“Tolerance,” explained Mrs. Hartsfield, “Means you don’t kill someone just because they believe differently than you.” She was speaking specifically about the news of the day to her 9th Grade Social Studies class, of which I was but one of thirty youngsters who had the privilege of receiving an excellent public education from an excellent public school teacher.
The daily discussions of current events were lively enough to hold at bay the distractions of Spring, which usually seemed to explode around the third week of March, and although expected, always seemed to catch us by surprise. The discussion of “tolerance” came on the heels of renewed animus id Yardin Ulster, the usual suspects wearing a religious facade. I could not comprehend how the two could have deep hatred for each other, my own life experience with Catholics limited to the family living across the street, Jimmy, the youngest, my best friend. That relationship went much deeper than mere tolerance, and was so natural that the thought of seeming enmity between us was limited to those competitive occasions involving sports, and later, cars, and girlfriends. Jimmy, as I recall, was the first to recognize the immutable correlation between the serving of turnip greens at the school cafeteria immediately following grass-cutting day.
A year or so later, my big brother would give me a book called Future Shock which I enjoyed much less than the hours spent examining his secret stash of rock albums, reading the sleeves, the production notes, learning the musicians’ names, and spending hours memorizing the words to the songs. I think, if pressed, I could still do the whole album-side version of “Alice’s Restaurant Massacre, with full orchestration, and four-part harmony …” I don’t think even Toffler realized how right he was in Future Shock. Change, and the accelerating rate of change has exploded on the scene, and caught us unprepared to manage our expectations.
If shock and alarm imply fear, and that’s where Toffler might have it wrong, I think. People are just people. Technology changes, knowledge increases, but people are still people, all knowing the basic differences between right and wrong. And, although Ms. Hollman would tell me some years later in Sociology class that making this conclusion was “imposing a value judgment on others,” I can’t help but think that wondering about the future, and believing in the fundamental decency of people go hand in hand. That is less a limitation, and more a jumping off point, so to speak. A natural yearning to live and let live is the essence of tolerance.
The pace and the scope of expansionist technology increases with each new discovery, and one’s ability to adapt and utilize are limited only by imagination. I saw a commercial recently and blogged about it, “Web 3.0 is closer than you think.” In fact, I think web 3.0, 4.0, and 5.0 will flow seamlessly into each other until the day when they are no longer differentiated by generational markers. As they become accepted and intertwined in the way we communicate and conduct our daily lives, the importance of having bold and imaginative people in leadership positions is defined, not by the lowest common denominator, but by the inspirational power to achieve. Imagination, optimism, and tolerance are the reasons that I am politically conservative. They are the reasons that I blog. I believe they are also, the reasons that this unique American experiment will thrive.
Related links:
Web 3.0 is closer than you think
Web 3.0 is closer than you think, part 2
Aparthebird and the Saints
* E-mail inventor: I didn’t foresee spam
* Web 3.0 and beyond: the internet’s next 20 years
* Technology giants spark innovation free-for-all
I Just Can’t Believe it!
Posted on April 1, 2008 - Filed Under my opinions
Okay, it’s official - the world is filled with idiots.
While cruising through Wordpress news, I saw that Cheezburger (the cat website) and Stuff White People Like are getting BOOK DEALS!!!!! I’m sorry and no disrespect intended but WTF? How does this make any sense at all? Why do I even bother?
Clearly, people don’t want to read actual books anymore, they want to read about how dedicating a website to cat pictures came about. Now there’s some stimulating information, eh?
These sites apparently get millions of hits - literally. Why? Somebody out there has to tell me why? What is the business model that makes these sites successful? I honest to God don’t get it. Do you?
I’m fricking speechless.
WC (putting on her black shroud now)
« go back 
