Reconciliation
Posted on August 4, 2008 - Filed Under Deep thoughts, breathe, in my head, only dancing
An interesting word. One with many nuances and layers but in the end is about coming to terms and restoring that which was. I have had a lot of time to consider this word and the action of same. And to see how very difficult it can be and all of the reasons why it is so difficult and yet so easy to do, to offer, to want.
Mistakes are made, words are uttered and regretted, or worse, unspoken and left to the imagination to grow into disportionate size and significance - and that which was so simple five minutes ago is suddenly a raging beast with its sites set on you, while you were only just going along minding your own business. It can be a shock to the system and the source of much confusion and distress.
Ah, I wax philosophic and speak in circles, yes, I admit it because I’m looking for the truth of it and quite honestly have not found it. And I want to. It is important to me to understand what is true in my own and in the lives of others I care about. But maybe too important to me about others because I have a tendency to worry less about myself and more about others and go so far over the limit to help, to comfort and console that I forget that I need these things too. And in the forgetting stumble upon land mines that I had no idea were there.
It would be so easy to just shrug it off, forget it, move on. I like going for the easy route because it is more comfortable and makes for a smoother ride and then you aren’t really required to look at the dynamics at play and how you had a part in them. In the end though, you always do have to examine those and come to grips and do what you can to learn from them and move on. So, I am trying to do that in my own haphazard way while always keeping my eye on the very beautiful things in my life - the large and the small things, not let any of it miss my notice and acknowlegement. And though I don’t think things will ever be as they were - I do hope that perhaps in a way they will be better with a deeper understanding and a stronger ability to forgive and forget.
Thanks for indulging in my talking out loud piece. I do apologize if it makes no sense to anyone but me.
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15 Responses to “Reconciliation”
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Hope it works out for ya, darlin’. In this life, we need all the friends that we can get.
Yeah, we do, my friend - we really do. Thanks, darlin’
Annie
Here’s to deeper understandings - may we gain them and use them wisely.
Hi Gem,
Good toast. Hear hear!
Annie
{hugs!}
Aw, thanks, C - you too.
Annie
Never apologize for your eloquent words Annie. Hugs for you xo
Hey sweet girl, thank you.
Annie xo
Words from the heart know no boundaries - “makes no sense” is for the mind.
Well I think you nailed that one, Gerry and thanks. Unfortunately, my mind won’t shut up either.
Annie
i think it makes sense. i think reconciling is hard because it is often difficult to accept forgiveness from ourselves.
Lord knows that true reconciliation requires not only forgiveness but “setting it right” which i find hard to do sometimes, for either my pride can be a monster, or i insist i must suffer more for my wrongdoing. There is also the awful bit about acknowledging the wrong done to me. i, like you, would just like to shrug it off and move on.
But do we actually do that? Move on? i think it festers within us, eventually causing pain, doing damage to our abilities to trust others and ourselves. However you are grappling Chica, i hope that you will show yourself some mercy. You’re tough on you.
*hugs*
We seem to have such similar minds, Chica, or thought processes. I think we’d have grown up good friends had we’d lived next door to each other. I hope I will show myself some mercy too but it isn’t likely.
hugs,
Annie
You make great sense.
People in your life that you care about and love are important and worth cherishing.I liked how you described reconciliation and how small situations can become huge. I liked what you said about dynamics in play and owning your own part in what ever situation you need to own your part in.
I think, depending on how true and real the person/people are in a friendship or a relationship depends on the level of honesty and trust you can give and recieve to offer each other the beauty and freedon of reconciliation.
Thank you annie. Hope all is okey. No ! Try not to miss all the small wonderments and beauty this world has to offer. I quess forgivness is one of the small beauty’s and brings deeper meaningful understandings as you say to each others.
Beauty and Smiles
Di
Thank you, dear Di and that felt like a good hug from a good friend.
Annie
PS.
I love the picture.
X
Me too.
Reconciliation is a tough word. But the action is even tougher. Apology is the first step and even that is not an easy word.
The problem with reconciliation is it requires ongoing work. I hope it all works out for you and that you reap rewards for your efforts. Hugs to you, Annie.
Hey Teens,
Thanks, sweetie - you make sense. I’m sure that it will all work out in the end - most things do land where they should after all is said and done.
Hugs,
Annie
((( Annie )))
For some reason, your post (very beautifully written, btw), reminded me of Broken Bones.
One of the things about broken bones that is so cool is, once they are healed, the part where the break was becomes so much stronger than the surrounding bone.
Sometimes, some things need to break - or come apart - in order that Hands, much wiser than our own, can mend everything - making it much stronger than it ever was.
Sending you love today. Acceptance, gratitude, and letting go are such powerful practices. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Hey Gracie,
Thanks for the hug and the analogy - it’s a good one. And truth be told, I could use some wisdom about now - perhaps it will come. Thanks for caring, dear.
Hugs,
Annie
“A sacrament in some Christian churches that includes contrition, confession to a priest, acceptance of punishment, and absolution.”
I’ve read this post several times now and still can’t come up with something acceptable to publish. I did laugh when I read the textbook definition though.
Know that in my heart I understand the weight of your words and the fact that friendships can be difficult to maintain.
I will say that ultimately the best ones are the ones worth fighting for and the ones you can never give up on.
Keep the faith and keep the stuff that’s worthy to your heart.
A post of biblical proportions regarding “hope”.
Guess I did come up with something.
~m
Thank you. Perhaps things are looking up already.
Annie
“And though I don’t think things will ever be as they were - I do hope that perhaps in a way they will be better with a deeper understanding and a stronger ability to forgive and forget.”
~Because you recognize the need for this, I do believe it will get better.
Terrific post!
Hey Mrs. V!
Thanks for the vote of confidence - I’m hoping you’re right.
Annie
My heart breaks over posts such as these because i understand so well what they mean…
{{hugs}} sweetie…
there is no more i can say…
Yeah…I’d have to say no one understands more than you in this one, eh?
Love ya
Annie
I just noticed dear annie that you could use some wisdom right now. I ran upstairs and got me wisdom book,thought about you, well I thought about nightblooming hummingbirds and this is the page I picked for you.
OH !! It has two little bits of beauty on this page. aww!! you got double beauty.
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.
Trust {people}, and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
Always smiles & always beauty alongside all the little bits and bats of other stuff that goes on.Thinking about you to. I quess sometimes you just gotta ride some things. Time’s quite a great thing isin’t.
OMG ! I’m wittering, tell me to shut up.
Shut up Diane.
OK.
((( XX ANNIE XX )))
Hi Di,
Thanks for coming back with that. It is good advice and often true - words to consider at any rate.
Love
Annie
Friendships are like gemstones: they have many facets, even the valuable ones may have a flaw, and there is usually a cost associated with them. Only you can decide which ones are worth the cost.
Oh, and one more similarity: when you look at them from a different angle, you often see something you hadn’t noticed before.
Not the first time I’ve written these words, but they seem equally appropriate here.
-smith
LOL Smith, you are about as subtle as a pie in the face. Thanks, nonetheless.
Annie