Wake Me Up When It’s Over…
Posted on November 1, 2008 - Filed Under Election 2008, Politics, are we idiots?, assclowns, my opinions
Okay, so the ‘big election’ that apparently is going to make history is in just a few days. And in honor of that I am stepping just inside the lines of a political post… To say this has been the weirdest fricking election I’ve seen in my lifetime doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about this whole miserable ball of wax. Sorry folks, but as far as I’m concerned, neither side has even come close to getting it right, from the issues to the candidates it has been in my humble opinion one big fucking joke.
To say I’m pissed about the whole damn thing doesn’t begin to cover it. I’m pissed that we’ve been offered the choices (if you can call them that) we have and that stupid shit like universal healthcare, gas costs and gay marriage seem to be the most important things on the agenda this time out. When the hell did we stop caring about things that really fucking matter? Have we really just completely spiraled into total apathy and stopped giving a damn about anything real? Anything?
No matter what happens it won’t be good for any of us or for the country. I simply can’t drink the cool aid for the right, the left or the middle. They are all a bunch of losers and we have only ourselves to blame for letting people like this get anywhere near the Oval Office. Believe me, we will all live to regret it. I only hope we’re still alive to regret it. I’m not joking here, not at all.
I have a friend who keeps saying the only hope for this country is a clean slate. That literally the country needs to implode and I guess we’re talking revolution here - for things to right themselves. I’m beginning to think he may be right. We are so far afield of anything the Founding Fathers wanted for this country and its citizens and forget the Constitution because clearly our representatives have no clue what it says much less what it means.
My advice? Stock up on MRE’s, warm clothes and survival gear. iPods and cell phones aren’t going to be of any use and you might as well start weaning yourself off Starbux too. Meanwhile, I’ll be looking for a private island for me and my friends. Maybe we’ll be able to wait it out.
So…no matter who wins, we all lose. Wake me when it’s over. And please God, can it come soon!!
Ghosts, Goblins & Other Stuff…
Posted on October 30, 2008 - Filed Under my opinions
I know that a lot of you are really into Halloween. Me, not so much. The only significant thing about Halloween to me is that my parents’ divorce was final on Halloween and I never have good costumes. That could be my problem, costume envy. Pretty much, once I got too big to have strangers give me candy for no reason other than the fact that it was October 31st, I lost interest. But for those of you who still enjoy, some toons thanks to Ger.
Are You Lucky?
Posted on October 7, 2008 - Filed Under adventure, amazing, breathe, joy, my opinions
Is it possible that one thing can change everything? One moment, one realization, one person, one event? I’m beginning to think that maybe it can. While I consider myself a realist I am also a closet optimist. I like to be real and honest but I also think life is nothing without hope and the faith that there is at least the promise that something wonderful is always possible.
We spend our day to day lives fighting traffic, arguing politics, bemoaning our bills and missed opportunities and it’s hard, folks, to step back from that and unentangle yourself from the mess. But every now and then something wonderful does happen, unexpected, smack-you-upside-the-head, never-saw-that-coming wonderful - and if we still have a brain left in our heads we grab it. And we’d better, because it doesn’t happen everyday - sometimes it doesn’t even happen every year.
For all the ‘bad luck’ that I have unearthed this year in particular - the worry, grief, frustration that has seemed to be the constant landscape of my life - some little kernel of light stayed alive in the back of my mind because I have been lucky most of my life. In big ways and small ways, unexpected ways, delightful ways, suprising ways. So I knew my luck would return to me. And it has.
But I think too that luck has a lot more to do with us, ourselves and how we think and what we think. If we walk around believing that our luck is gone, good things don’t happen, we don’t deserve it, etc., etc. then I think that’s what we get. Conversely if we walk around believing that it’s there, that it belongs to us, that we deserve it then anything is possible, the most amazing things are possible, often times things that are beyond what we dare to wish for.
And so my friends a little word of advice, never doubt your luck and never believe it has left you - because it’s always there, waiting to deliver. I promise.
A “Bail-Out” Plan I Could Get Behind
Posted on October 4, 2008 - Filed Under adventure, assclowns, bail out, brain farts, creative financing, my opinions
(My friend Jenny sent this in an email - it’s a thought????)
The Federal Reserve is a private company as are those receiving the proposed stolen money on Wall Street. They do not work for us. The Treasury Secretary is from Goldman Sachs. Per USA today, Chris Dodd, Chair of the Senate Banking Committee, has received over $13 million from financial services lobbyists, and a total of over $43 million from all lobbyists. You think he can make a unprejudiced decision?
We all must act now to stop the greatest heist in history!
OKAY YOU ECONOMISTS, AND SMART NUMBER CRUNCHERS WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS PROPOSAL!!!
Are you against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG? Me too!
Instead, give $85,000,000,000 to Americans in a We Deserve It Dividend. To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 Bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+.
Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up…
So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.
The plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.
Of course, it would NOT be tax free.
So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.
Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.
That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.
But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.
A husband and wife has $595,000.00.
What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college – it’ll be there
Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car – creates jobs!!
Invest in the market – capital drives growth
Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves
Enables Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( “vote buy” ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President. If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!
As for AIG – liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up. Here’s the rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t. Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.” But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion -We Deserve It Dividend more than do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC. And remember, This plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
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And just in case, that doesn’t ring your chimes, go here to watch a ridiculous video created by a friend of mine who has way too much time on his hand. 
Maybe it’s All About Cats?
Posted on September 28, 2008 - Filed Under my opinions
This past week has really been a bit strange - especially in the blogosphere. For the most part it has seemed excedingly quiet and my stats have been awful. Which is always depressing to a blogger I guess and I know we aren’t supposed to take it to heart - stuff happens - there are slumps, blah blah. I know that. I’ve been at this for quite a while and you’d think I’d have learned by now. Still, it gets me down.
I spend a lot of time coming up with ideas for posts and writing them and so on. Just like everybody else so when it turns out that the effort doesn’t seem to be worth it… Oh well. But I do wonder maybe that’s the problem, maybe I do spend too much time working on posts. Maybe I should just do that whatever is in my mind at the moment thing. It does seem to work for a lot of bloggers. I don’t know. Maybe I should just start trolling for lots of pictures of cats, dogs, mice and hamsters doing stupid things. I just got an email from a friend proclaiming how funny the contents were and when I opened it I found the standard 10 pics off the Cheezburger site. Yet people just can’t seem to get enough of them. Maybe it is all about the cats.
I mean who doesn’t want to see a bunch of pics of crazy cats doing crazy things? Playing banjos and golf or jumping up in the air with a funny photo-shopped expression on their face - now that’s entertainment, yeah? Although cats really have been done to death, so I’d probably have to find a lesser used animal. Maybe a bass fish or a bunny? Bunnies are funny, right? Or hedgehogs, they don’t get very much play in the blogosphere and that seems rather unfair - salamanders too are a greatly ignored species for funny pics as well.
Perhaps words are passe? It could be, I think honestly that people do think in pictures, so to speak. I mean when you think of something you don’t get an image of text in your mind - you get an image, right? So maybe pictorial posts should be the order of the day? In fact, I probably should have done this post in pictures instead of words because you’re probably not still reading - you’ve moved on to find some funny pictures that make you spit coffee all over your monitor. Am I right? I thought so.
It could very well be that writers are dinosaurs, a breed moving dangerously close to the edge of extinction. I know I spent 3 hours yesterday looking for some poetry to read on the internet. I went to one of those sites that is supposed to be a directory for poetry/writing blogs. I was astounded to discover that I found just about everything but. Even the poetry blogs didn’t have poetry, they had marketing news, politics, funny pics, commentary and meanderings of the author’s daily routine - but no poetry. Out of the 100 sites I went to, I found ten that had some poetry, of those maybe 5 that seemed to really be about poetry. Shocking I must say. Shocking.
Oh well, I guess this writer will have to change with the times, start using pictures and learn how to use photoshop. I may need to up my RAM though, cuz those graphics eat up space like nobody’s business. What do you guys think? Should I change the name of the blog to “I Can Haz a Chilidog”?
Following
Posted on September 25, 2008 - Filed Under Deep thoughts, WTF?, What If?, i dunno, my opinions
About ten year ago maybe a little less, there was an independent film that came out called Following. It was a very quirky British film that centered around an odd duck who by chance one day followed someone, the whole day and watched what they did. For some reason this became a fascination with him and ultimately led him into a whole passal of trouble and he found the tables turned in a very uncomfortable way. I thought it was an interesting film and moreso an interesting concept because it makes one ponder, why would one person want to follow another?
I don’t know if any of you have been followed but I have and it’s a rather surreal experience. Because at first it may seem a bit flattering, you know? Like “Wow, I must be interesting, woo hoo.” But then ego gives way to reality and you really do start to wonder why it is a certain person just keeps turning up wherever you are. How they just manage to be anyplace you are, get involved in activities you are involved in and so forth.
I guess I’m not a total bore, but I certainly wouldn’t call myself fascinating. I just go about my business, have some fun, talk, chat, read, write, have a few laughs. You know, pretty much like anyone else - so what is there to see? I suppose it does have something to do with attraction or maybe it is just flat out curiosity. Is it possible that an average person like myself could be so alien to another that they would feel the need to study me, watch me, see what I do and say? Since it has happened I guess the cursory answer at least would have to be yes.
On the other hand maybe it has little or nothing to do with me, the watchee (if you will) and more to do with the watcher. I ponder sometimes what goes on in a mind like that - that they would follow someone else and just watch them. What would be the point, what need or desire would it fulfill? Is it that they are simply so unengaged in life that they have become a permanent spectator, too afraid to actually make direct contact and outwardly learn about someone, get to know them? Are they just taking notes because they are trying to develop a character study for a story? Is it only the unattainable that interests them? I’ve come to no real conclusions just more curiosity about the whole thing.
Anyone have any thoughts on this? What do you think the motivation is? Why do you think that? I’m seriously interested in your thoughts about this.
Play Ball!
Posted on September 24, 2008 - Filed Under Baseball, Just For Fun, brain farts, laughs, my opinions
So my little sister, Kathy was in town over the weekend. She comes out once a year to see friends, she once lived out here and then ultimately decided to go back to Michigan and make her permanent home there. Anyway, usually when she comes out we meet have a long lunch and then that’s it. This time out however, I suggested we try doing something more fun than a house salad and iced tea at the Black Cow.
She was receptive to the idea and we decided we’d take in a ballgame. She took care of getting the tickets and scaring up other chums to join us and all was cool. A few days later I got an email from her husband asking me to call her because of course she didn’t have my phone number with her. So, I took down the number and made the call. Now, you have to understand that Kath lives in the Detroit area and I always forget how much more direct they are out there, it’s been so long since I lived there and I’ve lived in California for pretty much all of my adult life - you know land of the nuts and twigs where everything is just nice and easy? Anyway, I call her cell and get her message which goes like this -”This is Kathy, you got my cell phone, leave a message. Good bye.” If I were to explain the tone though the message would have been more like: “this is Kathy, you wanna make something out that? So, you wanna leave a message, huh? Well go ahead, I dare ya!” I swear I was laughing so hard I could hardly leave the message. But that’s my sis, God love her, she is nothing if not direct.
So, she gets in town we have a nice breffy on Saturday morning - she asks if I want to join her at the LaBrea Tar Pits, which I decline because I have work to do and we part company. Sunday, is game day and her friend Dar comes by my house (since she lives nearby) so Kath can just swing by and pick us both up because still after four years it is a mystery to her how to get around my little burg - not sure why since there is only one main road and is quite a small little place but it just causes her problems. So Dar comes over we have coffee and some toast and chat away, waiting for Kath. The game is at one and it’s nearly noon so we’re wondering. Sure enough the phone rings and “I’m lost, pick up the phone, where are you - hello, hello, helloooooo?” Okay, pick up the phone, yes turn around, hang a right at the Starbuck’s - okay see you in a minute.”
All right then finally she’s there, we all pile into the car and we’re off. As we’re driving toward the 5 she says, ‘now how do you get to Dodger Stadium again? Should we be on the 5 or the 2?’ She says this to a car full of women who of course have no fricking idea where we are going. We resolve in the end to stay on the 5 because the 5 leads to all things in Southern California and we figure we’ll see the signs for the stadium. Well as soon as we start to see them then traffic comes to a halt and it takes about 35 minutes to just get off the off ramp to the stadium and another 10 to get the half mile to the stadium, people racing up the turn lane and cutting in front which pisses her off more.
At last we reach the stadium, park in the lower 40 and start the half mile hike to the stadium - when we’re just to the gates she remembers she’s forgotten her camera and wants to go back but oh no, we won’t let her. Then through the three bag checks and ticket showing, blah blah. Okay, so here’s the thing we entered at the exact opposite of where we should have, so we walk the entire length of the stadium only to discover we are on the 7th level, up the escalators, into the cramped elevator and at last we find our section, then down to almost the bottom where we find our seats smack dab in the middle of the row. Which is fine for us - not so much for the people who have to stand up during our constant comings and goings.
So I sit down and I say to Dar and Chris at the end of the first inning - ‘okay, well we aren’t going to get any real action til the 7th inning and then it will be neck in neck and then we’ll go into extra innings.’ This is a thing I do - predict ball games. Don’t know why but it just comes into my head and I say it. As the game progressed and my prediction became truer and truer, my seat mates kept glaring at me and saying, ‘God, can’t you let them score already?” I assured them I only predicted I didn’t have the power to intercede. It was good though because that gave us plenty of time to go and buy stuff and visit the bathroom and smoke a couple of cigarettes. I had my hotdog and beer for a mere $15 dollars. Yup, beer was 12 ounces and cost $8 - hey somebody has to pay those salaries right? So we sat in the sweltering sun - watched inning after innning with no runs, over and over. It did start to get a little interesting but by the bottom of the 9th Kathy says, if they don’t score by the end of this inning you want to go? Of course we did, we are girls after all and none of us really had a horse in the race -so yeah, we were game for leaving. Sure enough no runs so up we got, promising the people on the aisle it was our last departure from the seats and we started for the exits. Of course the other three had to hit the ladies room first - go figure. Then just as we got to the car we heard the crowd going ape shit, which probably meant that somebody scored and since the Dodgers were playing their arch rivals the Giants I’m assuming it was the Dodgers who scored. Ironically, we didn’t bother to turn the radio on when we got in the car to see who scored or if anyone scored, the ball game now just being a thing of the past and air conditioning and finding a frozen margarita far more parmount in our minds.
And that my friends is how four women enjoy a baseball game. Oh and the magaritas were divine. And I still don’t know who won that game.
Is Brown the New Green?
Posted on September 9, 2008 - Filed Under are we idiots?, brain farts, bullshit, global warming, my opinions
I’ve been meaning to bring this up for a while. Sometime back I heard one of the incessant and ever present commercials you hear in California these days - about water shortages. A theme that I always find ironic, since we have thousands of miles of coastline with raging water right there. It’s drought season. Oh yeah, that’s right we have to get all vaklemped because we didn’t get enough rain. The ironic thing is that when we have lots of rain, far beyond our ‘normal’ annual rainfall, they are always very quick to point out that this in no way cancels any drought deficits we have built up - despite the fact that several people’s houses are sliding down hills right past their windows. Oh no, we must never admit that we actually have an abundance of anything - if we did, then how the heck would we scare the bageebers out of the general populace? And if we couldn’t do that, how the heck are we going to control them? Anyway, as usual, I digress.
So, I’m listening to this commercial going on about how we must, must, must conserve on water because now that is in short supply (despite the fact that we get most of our water from the Colorado river, eh?) and how we must refrain from watering plants, lawns and other unnecessary green items, so we won’t all die from dehydration or something. And besides, how will we water all those plants growing on the side of the freeways if we actually water our own plants and lawns?
But it got me thinking…don’t you see the irony here? I mean, the whole thrust is that we want to go more green, right? All over the country and perhaps the world, we are hearing about how the trees are all being chopped down and that is going to rip an even bigger hole in the ozone layer (btw, I heard that is actually repairing itself, who knew?) so, yes, let’s plant a lot of trees and get that oxygen level up folks - but ooops, I think trees actually need water in order to grow. In fact, all plants need more water to grow. So if you pull out your lawn and put down concrete, in order to save water, aren’t you contributing to higher ambient temps? Plants and greenery do not conduct heat, so they actually contribute to cooling ambient temps - also they produce water as well, right? Concrete, not so much. See my dilemma here?
So how in the hell does either letting your lawn/plants go to a dry mass of brown contribute to helping to ’stop global warming’? The answer is it doesn’t. And the truth is, IMHO is that it is not about conservation, preventing global warming or any of that - it is just about control. Apparently we are all so stupid that if anybody throws in the term global warming that we, like Pavlov’s dogs will react and do what we are told. We will not use our own common sense, we will simply believe that we must do our part in battling the impending doom of the planet drying up like a 70 year old virgin. My ass.
And what are we saving the water for? Some guy who fifty years from now is going to be thirsty? I think not. Seriously, if you told a farmer or a gardener that the way to have plants in the future would be to save all their seeds or use as few of them as possible they’d hit you over the head with a rake or tractor or something. Life begets life. Death begets death. If we have to kill the very things that supposedly sustain life on this planet, in order to have a more sound planet and a better quality of life, then sorry I’m just not down with that. Are you? It’s just too stupid for words.
Tasteless Toons for Sunday
Posted on September 7, 2008 - Filed Under Humor, Joke Time, Just For Fun, brain farts, my opinions
A Few Thank You’s
Posted on August 31, 2008 - Filed Under awards, food fight, my opinions, thank you
Well this has been a very interesting week - at least for me. As many of you know, we had the ever so delightful food fight - in which many of you participated. For which I owe some thanks - I am floored that so many came to my defense and took the time to insult the little troll who apparently wandered over here by mistake. Special kudos to Smith, Grit, Michael and Gem for their creative and clever smackdowns of this assclown. And quite impressed that the troops extended across the ocean - largely due my buddy, Moe - who did her own special version of a call to action. Honey, thanks, I know you’ve got my back and believe me in the reverse situation, I’d be there with bells on too.
But it’s also been kind of neat because I was given three awards this week. Who knew my karma was so electric. So I want to thank Dustbury, 30 and Joan of Fun for thinking of me and bestowing such lovely little trophies on me. You’re all sweethearts and I do appreciate each of you.
And then for general purposes, I want to thank all you guys for making me feel at home, for coming by, for swapping advice, opinions, ideas, cartoons, jokes, laughs and even some tears. You guys are the best.
And now we return to our regular programming - back to the holiday weekend.
PS: I’m actually away from my computer (quick trip up the coast) and have scheduled little posts to amuse you - I will get to visiting and answering comments come Monday night or Tuesday. Enjoy the holiday and watch out for the fireworks and the drinkers.
